Sunday, June 7, 2009

Dodging That Hug

by today’s Urban Chameleon contributor

I’ve been taking this kickboxing class at my gym every Saturday at noon for the past couple of months. The first half of the class is an intense, cardio, work out where you are literally in that bitch steaming up the windows from the heat that is exuding off of your body and by the time we move into the cool down, stretching part of the class everyone is dripping buckets of hot sweat.

After class there are a couple of people I chat with you know the regulars who you stand with at the front of the class like a teacher assistant showing off how well you know the work out routine by heart. Anyway, there is this one guy who ever since we discovered that we have a mutual friend, he feels the need to run over and give me a hot, stinky sweaty, dripping, hug after every class. I cannot even begin to tell you the level of disgust, abhorrence, nausea and repugnance, that quivers through out my entire body when this happens to me and so far it’s happened three times too many. The first time I was caught off guard. The second time he snuck up on me and I quickly tried to put my hand up for a high five saying, “Oooh, I’m soooo sweaty” and he still came in for the hug responding, “I don’t care about that.” I’m thinking in my head, “HELLO. I care you nasty motherfucka” but I refrained from pulling a Tasha Mack (click here for the Tasha Mack break down) on this sweet white guy. The third time I just quickly put on my sports jacket for the less repulsive contact. Seriously, this white guy is about to be responsible for cellulite thunder thighs because I’m damn near scared to go the gym because of him. This is worse than the Swine Flu. It’s to the point where I can't even concentrate on my work out because half way in all I’m thinking about is how I’m going to dodge that hug.

What would you do?

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