Dodging That Hug

by today’s Urban Chameleon contributor

I’ve been taking this kickboxing class at my gym every Saturday at noon for the past couple of months. The first half of the class is an intense, cardio, work out where you are literally in that bitch steaming up the windows from the heat that is exuding off of your body and by the time we move into the cool down, stretching part of the class everyone is dripping buckets of hot sweat.

After class there are a couple of people I chat with you know the regulars who you stand with at the front of the class like a teacher assistant showing off how well you know the work out routine by heart. Anyway, there is this one guy who ever since we discovered that we have a mutual friend, he feels the need to run over and give me a hot, stinky sweaty, dripping, hug after every class. I cannot even begin to tell you the level of disgust, abhorrence, nausea and repugnance, that quivers through out my entire body when this happens to me and so far it’s happened three times too many. The first time I was caught off guard. The second time he snuck up on me and I quickly tried to put my hand up for a high five saying, “Oooh, I’m soooo sweaty” and he still came in for the hug responding, “I don’t care about that.” I’m thinking in my head, “HELLO. I care you nasty motherfucka” but I refrained from pulling a Tasha Mack (click here for the Tasha Mack break down) on this sweet white guy. The third time I just quickly put on my sports jacket for the less repulsive contact. Seriously, this white guy is about to be responsible for cellulite thunder thighs because I’m damn near scared to go the gym because of him. This is worse than the Swine Flu. It’s to the point where I can't even concentrate on my work out because half way in all I’m thinking about is how I’m going to dodge that hug.

What would you do?

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Come on CW…How You Gonna Cut THE GAME?!

by today's Urban Chamelon contributor

When I tell you that I love me some The Game, it’s no joke. I found myself glued to my couch one weekend catching up on the series during a marathon of the television show on BET, a network I usually stay far far far far far far (did I mention ) far far away from… but for The Game? A sista can't get enough. It normally airs on the CW but thank god BET decided to syndicate the show taking a break from their hot ghetto coonery mess of a line up they proudly parade with no shame. However, I swear The Game might be the most progressive show on television. It’s produced by Kelsey Grammer from Frasier (wait Kelsey, are you an Urban Chameleon? Go ‘head). The Game just hits you with real ISSUES. Tasha Mack who plays the “angry Black women” is actually contextualized on this show and was called out on this one particular episode that GOT ME. If you caught the episode I’m about to break down you might have the same revelation I did, which is that Black woman may be able to appear less angry if media did a better job of actually contextualized the anger. Black women don’t just wake up like “Get the fuck out my way motha fucka!!!”

In this episode, Tasha Mack and this football coach she was dating was in a coffee house and Tasha Mack (sorry she’s a first and last name kinda girl if you aren’t familiar) started breaking on the coffee latte guy. Even though the latte guy might have skipped her, her boyfriend had to point out to her that not everything warrants a fight and because he fights all day coaching at work he doesn’t want to fight when he comes home to her. She notes this and makes an attempt to try and censor herself. He then invites her over to his house for a gathering with some of his friends later that evening. When she shows up she is surprised to see a room full of white people, are his friends. (Ok so Tasha Mack is not exactly an Urban Chameleon) Although, boy when I tell you they nailed the cultural nuances of some white people and how they irk Black people- HILARIOUS! You had the white women with her dog on her lap allowing the dog to kiss her all up in her mouth. IRK #1! Then there was the white woman who put her hands all over the food and took a bite before offering Tasha Mack some. IRK#2! Then there was the smart ass, white male professor type who corrects everyone’s grammar- not just IRK #3 but the biggest IRK of them all. The reason being is that Black people don’t really take well to being corrected. We are already a confrontational race so any reason to provoke us and we go off. Well honey, Tasha Mack was a team player for her man up until this point. She had allowed the dog to give her a peck on the lips before running off to the bathroom to scrub her lip with a full bar of soap, she also even caught herself about to break and politely declined the sandwich the woman offered her. However, the straw that broke Tasha Mack’s back is when the professor corrected her use of the word “Conversate.” (oooh even my spell check doesn’t recognize this word but we use this word alllll the time and even if you don’t ya still know what it means) Honey chal, baby chal, lawd chal, Tasha Mack ultimately ended up telling all them white people to hold hands and jump off a cliff before storming out. The next day the boyfriend came over to end the relationship and Tasha was forced to look in the mirror at her anger issues.

Across the board this show presents a really great spectrum of characters and I would hate to see it go. BET really needs to redeem them selves and get this show into production. However, quite frankly, I don’t care what network The Game airs it just needs to stay ON even if that means watching it on Klu Klux Klan TV.

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