Monday, June 1, 2009

The Hollering Brothas

by today's Urban Chameleon contributor

Living in the city I am always caught off guard by the brothas who will hit you up on some, "Ooooh shorty can I marry you?" Even when living in the 'hood I'd always think to myself how am I suppose to respond to that? "Ok, pick me up at 8pm." Regardless it's always off putting when you receive the "coo coo" call on Madison Avenue.

What I really wasn't ready for is what happened to me this past weekend. I had to travel to New Orleans for the first time for work and I was out with a bunch of my colleagues, very corporate group of colleagues and we were looking for a place to have a drink. While walking up Bourbon street, the main spot where I was told Mardi Gras takes place in the French Quarter a brother in uniform setting up the tables I guess spotted my brown face with in my group of colleagues and shouts out, " Lawrd have mercy, I done gone to heaven and Jesus has sent me this fine ass woman." As if the exclaimed praise was not embarrassing enough my man proceeds to drop to his knees and starts bowing at my feet like the bathroom attendant in Coming to America when Prince Hakeem was just trying to pee. My manager starts looking at me like maybe I'm Beyonce? We of course still did not reach the icing on the cake because that point of course came as I continued to keep it moving and act like nothing had happened, the restaurant employee guy, in uniform shouts out, "Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn and she got a fat ass!"

Hmmmm, how does one Urban Chameleon themselves out this moment?

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  1. Don't Let the J. Crew Fool YaJune 2, 2009 at 1:55 PM

    I totally feel this one. The thing that always gets me is when our white brothas pull the same move! Yes, yall, I'm a white boy magnet and as embarrassing as the call out by our one might be, nothing beats the white boy channeling his inner Terrence Howard! But yes UC ... girl, do I feel ya. And them southern brothas really be laying it out with the drama.

    -Don' let the J. Crew fool ya

  2. I think that you get through this by explaining in a very scientific way how a fat ass has the same effect on the black male as fried chicken and watermelon has on on all blacks, they are left with out self control...
    deliver that with a strait face like its actual facts... and watch the faces of the colleagues (white people) some of them will buy it...shaking there heads up and down like oohhh. the rest wont be sure, but few will be comfortable enough to question a black person talking about blackness.... whether u then tell them the truth is up to u.