Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Why Do White Men Love Me? (episode 1)

by today’s Urban Chameleon contributor

Honestly, I really think that my name, picture and a tracking device have been distributed in the inner circles of bold white men everywhere because the pale-skinned kind never miss an opportunity to step it to me. And because I'm usually too busy always scoping my environment for "real brothas", which are far and few in my world of corporate finance those white boys are constantly pulling a ninja (in the literal sense) sneak attack rolling up on me move.

For example, I was recently at a bar near Wall Street with a couple of co-workers drowning my sorrows after weeks of plummeting stock prices. It was Happy Hour Thursday so your typical mix of bankers and lawyers were streaming in and out. Naturally, I was only one of three sistas there and no brothas. Just as I was about to resign myself to the inevitable boring workplace small talk a gang of brothas made an appearance. Thank the lawd! Luckily, Mary Kate, my fav red-headed co-worker happens to know the leader of the pack and waved him our way. For a brief second I thought to my self dammmmn where the heck is Mary Kate hangin' out that I'm not? Regardless I had her to thank for the smooth intro that was about to take place.

Just as I'm trying to find the right pitch in my voice, flirt in my face and indicate in my body language that I am completely ready to be taken out on a date the white men musta been scopin' because some how they picked up my radar before the brotha and his crew made it within 10 feet of me. "Hey there, can I buy you a drink?" This white boy asks me popping outta no where! Are you kidding me asshole?! I thought. Instead I replied, "Umm that's okay, I'm good." At this point I am straight breaking my neck to catch a better glimpse of the brotha and his crew who by now stopped along their way to us to talk to some other people they knew. Why was this white man straight cock blockin’! I ended up never speaking to the brothas and walked away to yet another invite from the white man to a black tie event and a damn business card.

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