Why do I feel guilty taking off work for MLK DAY?

by today's Urban Chameleon contributor

I'm the only Black guy at my company. I started about two and a half months ago so technically I’m still under a three-month probation before being considered a real employee.

Martin Luther King, Jr. Day is this Monday, as it’s celebrated the third Monday of January every year, a national holiday signed by Ronald Reagan in 1983. I noticed that my company is not closed for the holiday and I’m hot and bothered by this. This is the first time I’ve worked for a company that doesn’t acknowledge Dr. King’s birthday. Apparently, only 33% of business’ close for this day. I wonder if this is racism or taking humanity for granted? Or both? This might sound harsh, but to not acknowledge the birth of a man who died for civil rights is a harder pill for me to swallow.

The owner of the company is Jewish and I thought he’d understand the importance of commemorating a day that represents overcoming hate, murder, oppression and obtaining civil rights – hello Holocaust? I referred to the employee manual to see if I can find supporting evidence for my case. I was ready to approach the company if I saw that the office was closed for Yom Kippur or Rosh Hashanah, but to my surprise the only three holidays we have off are the New Year, Christmas and July 4^th. Oh. I had to rethink my approach to this matter.

I decided to see my manager, who also doubles up as HR, and bring the issue to her attention. In my mind, I kept reciting how delicately and politely I would approach the subject to avoid coming off like an angry Black man. A shame that we have to think this way. My manager ended up being really cool and understanding, (not understanding enough to close the office), but explained that because the company is so small with clients who don’t take off for the holiday and are so demanding we can’t afford to close, especially in such a competitive industry. However, if I wanted to take the day off I was more than welcomed, (without it even counting against my vacation days). The irony is that we are a slave to our clients. I thanked her for her time and walked back to my desk but still not satisfied.

A friend of mine told me that he has never worked for a company that's acknowledged MLK Day. He too is the only Black guy, always finding himself in a position of having to contemplate whether or not he should take the day off because feelings of guilt and isolation arise. It's like when you don't play into the culture of corporate America; being a martyr for working to the point of exhaustion. It's a company's responsibility to set a tone and by not acknowledging MLK Day you end up feeling like THAT "Black employee" missing work over THAT "Black holiday."

MLK Day isn't just about “ME and my Black people,” it's for everyone regardless of race. It reminds us of how far we’ve come and how much farther we have to go; Gay people in this country are still fighting for civil rights. Women are still seeking equality. If your office can’t close for the holiday the least they can do is acknowledge the day; even if it’s just a company, “reply all” e-mail, subject: Happy Martin Luther King, Jr. Day!

Have your Urban Chameleon story featured by e-mailing tickles.tv@gmail.com

Click here for: How the Urban Chameleon Came to be

Is “Tipping” for Service a Cultural Thing?

by today's Urban Chameleon contributor

A friend of mine always says that he doesn’t understand why poverty exists. “If all the billionaires in the world got together and gave back we wouldn’t have poverty.”

But there may be a more fundamental problem to attack first...tipping. Some see this as an unjustified donation. In fact, another friend (a Black woman), told me she can’t stand to see a tip jar by the cash register, especially at a coffee house. “Why am I tipping you on $1.25 coffee, that’s like putting your hand out and begging.”

Meanwhile, a different friend (a Black man) over tips for everything, as if he’s personally trying to correct the actions, or rather lack of actions, of people like her who’ve given the race a bad name. If you’ve worked in the service industry in America, like I have, where tips are not included in the paycheck and the establishment you’re working for has factored this in, therefore paying you minimum wage, there may be justification for much ‘tude to someone who doesn’t tip you.

A cab driver in NY once told me that I should tip at least 20% when paying with a credit card. I wasn’t sure how I felt about someone telling me how I should spend my money on them, but in a city that makes you fend for your own one may be forced to speak up if they want to eat.

The stigma of Black folks not tipping has caused a cultural split, which ironically is reflected by my two friends; One side under tips or doesn't tip at all and the other over tips to overcompensate for the ones that don’t.

The friend who came up with the solution to end poverty, (who also happens to be Black), shared an article with me where Warren Buffet and Bill Gates were attempting to do exactly what he had suggested, gather all the billionaires around the world to tackle global poverty. However, one of the biggest challenges is first getting billionaires from around the world to understand the significance of “giving back,” a concept that does not even exist in some of their cultures.

It made me think about whether or not there might be a mental or emotional block in Black culture around tipping. Ya know there were all those years where we did work for free. Like anything else, some folks may just be moving at a slower pace to wrap their heads and hearts around this thing called tipping.

Have your Urban Chameleon story featured by e-mailing tickles.tv@gmail.com

Click here for: How the Urban Chameleon Came to be