Funnel Cake Flowers chats with Dr. Beverly Guy-Sheftall about the obsession of men taking pictures of their penis

What is the obsession of men taking pictures of their penis and posting on the internet?

Find out when Funnel Cake Flowers sits down with Dr. Beverly Guy-Sheftall, Founder of the Women's Research and Resource Center at Spelman College, current president of the National Women's Association, author and co-author of several published books including Gender Talks, Traps and Who Should be First.

E-mail Funnel Cake Flowers The Urban Chameleon new reporter a news story at tickles@tickles.tv

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I try very hard to act brown but sometimes they make me act BLACK!

by today’s Urban Chameleon contributor

My mother always said, “You are different, you don't play by the same rules.” These are words I live by, especially since I work in corporate America.

Last week I had my semi-annual review. Things were going really well until my boss went over his hand written notes about my "Opportunities for Improvement." His list included arriving to meetings early and not just on time, and to stop bringing reading materials to meetings (regardless if it’s related to my profession and even if everyone else brings other work to the same meetings). His issues were so reflective of corporate America, never mind that I’m excellent at my job, a top seller who always comes to meetings prepared, it always comes down to what makes everyone else “comfortable.”

Just as I was preparing to leave his office, assuming the meeting was over, my boss says, “Just one more thing.” Apparently, someone told him my behavior was “unpolished and unprofessional” in a question and answer session that we recently had with the CEO, CFO and Chairman of the board. In that moment it took every fiber of my being not to show him what unpolished and unprofessional looked like.

Frankly, I was shocked. The Chairman of the Board actually approached me after the session, asked how long I had been with the company and said it was nice to meet me. I later sent an email to the CEO, CFO, and Chairman of the Board thanking them for the Q&A session and invited them to lunch to show my appreciation. The CEO followed up, and we have a lunch scheduled for next month. My co-workers thought I was crazy, but I saw it as an expression of appreciation…and like I said, I'm damn good at my job.

My boss said he wasn’t concerned about the “unpolished and unprofessional” behavior, but it did have to be addressed. After the conclusion of my review, I approached our Director of Diversity, my corporate barometer, which helps me balance being a professional Black woman and navigating the tumultuous waterways of "white corporate America". She was in the in the room during the Q&A session. I recounted the details of my review, including the "unpolished and unprofessional" behavior, and she asked what I thought? For a second it crossed my mind that maybe I am unpolished and unprofessional if she had to ask. She told me it’s not the content of what I say but that my delivery sometimes comes across as overly familiar when addressing executives. I tend to address them in the same manner as my other colleagues. This is what I was being reprimanded for? With a smile on my face, I told her this is something I am very proud of. I treat executives the same way I treat housekeeping. I believe that everyone should be treated equal.

It is true that I didn't speak in the same subservient tone as my Caucasian counterparts. It is true that I didn't look up at the corporate ladder with wide eyes like a puppy dog waiting to be patted on the head and given a begging strip from the treat bowl. I'm sorry that your millions do not impress me. I'm sorry that I will never allow myself to treat you in a manner that would suggest that you are better than me. I will look at any CEO, CFO and Chairman of the board straight in the eye and talk to them as an equal. While my mother used to stress that I am different and have to play the game by different rules, including work twice as hard, it was always tempered with respecting myself, being myself, and realizing that everyone is equal in the eyes of GOD.

I try my hardest to act brown but today they almost made me act black. Ultimately, I accepted the company’s offer to pay for me to have “professional” coaching. I embrace conscientious improvement but in no uncertain terms will I allow my personality, my essence, and my “Je ne sais quoi” to be coached away.

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Chicken Toss & Cigars

by today's Urban Chameleon contributor

About a couple of years ago I made the transition from secret meetings with the weed man and smoking blunts in conspicuous places with my homeboys to discovering a love for fine cigars. Each day I look forward to sitting on my patio and sampling a different brand. Some folks smoke cigars as a social activity but I enjoy being alone and unwinding with peace and quiet.

Yesterday, I was doing just that when a brotha dressed in swim trunks and flip flops, presumably on his way to the communal pool, yells up to me (third floor of a complex in a gated community) and says, “Hey brotha, you want a piece of chicken?” I looked down to confirm that he was in fact talking to me and see that he’s holding a large tin of chicken wings. I declined the offer but the brotha was persistent; he offered to toss a piece of chicken up to my patio. When I declined the second time he asked if I preferred a piece of corn. Once again I told the brotha I was cool. What do I look like hanging over my balcony trying to catch a piece of chicken or corn. What happens if I don’t catch it? Why am I even thinking through the scenario? My moment of cigar Zen was ruined. How is it that the ‘hood found me?!

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Funnel Cake Flowers comments on Tracey Morgan vs. The Gays

Another Black man bites the gay dust. Tracey Morgan provoked more minority on minorty crime when his stand up routine undermined gay rights. Apparently he joked that if his son ever came home gay that he would stab that little ninja to death. What I find interesting is that no one seems to care that he threatened to murder his son who he referred to as the n word. Where in the world are child services,  the NAACP and that boy's mother. Are we so blinded by which ever minority groups' issue is trending that we ignore other issues. Yes I'm being a little sarcastic. Black on gay crime is ridiculousness. How can one minority group not understand another’s plight for human rights?  But is that the only issue here? One might argue another issue is -what the hell are gays doing at Tracey Morgan stand up routine? Don’t let the 30 rock actor that now appeals to greater American fool you. I remember you hustle man. Like any person of color who climbs the social ladder, inevitably you have to become an Urban Chameleon.  Mr. Morgan your audience is now bigger than def comedy jam, a culture that unfortunately is comfortable with loosely using the “f” word to describe “soft” men. But might this be an opportunity where you can break a chain in Black comic culture. I know thing is for sure it’s complicated. I’m Funnel Cake Flowers your Urban Chameleon news reporter from Tickles.TV  

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Black Women Film Festival in Atlanta

Black Women Film Network is "Celebrating 15 Years" with the Black Women Film Festival opening this Friday, June 17 through Sunday- June 19, 2011 in Atlanta.

Reception: 6 p.m.; Woodruff Arts Center, Rich Auditorium

Films include 2011 Sundance selectee "Crime After Crime”; ABFF 2011 selectee, the newest documentary from Andrew Young and “Inside the Digital Moving Salon,” a program at Spelman College allowing for a new generation of Black women to participate in important discussions critical to their lives through digital storytelling.

Register now at: www.blackwomenfilm.org

Funnel Cake Flowers comments on Nene Leaks' deplorable behavior on The Celebrity Apprentice

FCF: Donald Trump’s Celebrity Apprentice has proven to be delicious reality TV as ratings have soured through the roof. However, there was a bone in my meal that nearly ruined it. The Celebrity Apprentice episode with Real Housewives of Atlanta’s Nene Leaks taking it to the street on Ms. Star Jones was a most disgraceful moment, not only as a Black woman but also as the Urban Chameleon news reporter. Nene is clearly not an Urban Chameleon, for no person of color who is an Urban Chameleon would behave this way in front of millions of white people watching. Nene was however trying to get Ms. Star Jones to Chameleon. Many people outside the race have often confused anger, attitude, neck rolling and adding extra syllables in curse words with being Black. Star Jones attempted to point out the difference that there are still some of us who can speak in complete sentences even when we are very angry.

The plight of people of color to be viewed as equals is not over. As we can see, not only do immigrants have to carry around papers but so do Black Americans. If anybody needs to be taking it to the street and almost pulling out somebody's hairpiece, it’s President Obama. I know one thing’s for sure, it’s f*cked up. I’m Funnel Cake Flowers your Urban Chameleon news reporter from Tickles.TV

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When keeping it real goes so wrong, but right for Donald Trump

by today's Urban Chameleon contributor

Years ago in college, I was cast in a school play. I had one line, “You muthafucka!” It was the quintessential, Black girl neck rolling and Sam Jackson-esq, urban tone in which I delivered the line each night that made the audience guffaw on cue. Even though I am a Black girl, I don't think the audience realized that I was playing a character.

It wasn’t until the following year, when I took a sociolinguistics class that I began to understand that my director at the time, who was white, had orchestrated my role in his play the way that Hollywood has always utilized ethnic characters, as comic relief. My, sociolinguistics teacher who was also white, had pointed this out to the class using countless examples, which I’ve continued to note to this day; including the Caribbean crab in THE LITTLE MERMAID, the cat and donkey in SHREK and so on.

Reality TV’s formula is an orchestrated trap for the poor and uneducated. Regardless of race, there is an appointed “crazy person.” However, when that crazy person is Black, let alone a Black woman, the community takes extra notice and cringes.

This past Sunday, I sat in awe as I watched Nene Leaks from The Real Housewives of Atlanta be allowed to berate Star Jones on The Celebrity Apprentice. Nene Leaks’ display of poor behavior was both sad and painful for a number of reasons. Ignoring race for a minute, we were watching a human being incapable of rationally communicating with another human being. Telling another grown woman (or anyone for that matter) to “Shut the f*ck up” is just hateful and hurtful. From a cultural standpoint, these were more than too familiar fighting words. However, Star Jones held it together and utilized her side commentary to the camera in an attempt to distinguish for America the difference between how an “educated Black woman handles stress” from one that aint.

An “educated” person doesn’t have to be someone who’s achieved a certain level of traditional schooling, or any schooling for that matter, but rather someone who realizes that the world is bigger than their block. In Nene’s case, you can take a girl off the block but you clearly cannot take the block out of the girl.

As Nene was telling Star Jones off, I couldn’t help but notice the Gucci scarf that was draped around her neck. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if the cost of her entire outfit was north of $2,000. It’s interesting that Nene’s “keep it real/block” attitude had bought her access into a world she clearly was not prepared to handle. Class is often mistaken for designer labels and rubbing elbows with the elite and it’s what most people strive for. However, as along as media continues to exploit that “crazy person” that looks like you (a minority), even if you are educated, you’ll always be viewed as a second class citizen…who better be carrying their birth papers. Right Mr. Trump?

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