The Fem-Urban Chameleon: Celebrating Anita Hill

It’s one thing to transition into corporate America—from its private grade school classrooms, ivy league universities, corporate boardrooms and social climbing ladders—back out into our bilingual/patois/urban slang speaking, hip winding, kinky hair handling and curry spice eating America. (See How the Urban Chameleon Came to be…) But it’s another layer to be a woman juggling another set of balls (pun intended) in a male dominated world. Dr. Beverly Guy-Sheftall, an iconic voice and activist in the feminist movement so eloquently talked with our Urban Chameleon news reporter, Funnel Cake Flowers, about why men think the “Penis is powerful.” Twenty years ago Anita Hill challenged that “penis power” by filing sexual harassment charges on Supreme Court nominee, Clarence Thomas. Although the court ruled in favor of Thomas, the case opened the floodgates for women from different backgrounds to unveil their own experiences with navigating sexual harassment – exposing an international crisis and modern day awareness.

A Thank-You Note to Anita Hill

Letty Cottin Pogrebin • October 5, 2011

Anita Hill, I want to personally thank you for what you did for us twenty years ago. Thank you for speaking up and speaking out. Thank you for your quiet dignity, your eloquence and elegance, your grace under pressure. Thank you for illuminating the complexities of female powerlessness and for explaining why you didn’t complain when the offense first occurred, and for describing how cowed and coerced a woman can feel when she’s hit upon by a man who controls her economic destiny.

Twenty years ago you had the courage to tell the truth and do what women rarely did: make a scene. Fifty years ago I didn’t. In the 1960s, when I was a book publishing executive, single and self-supporting, I once was trapped in an elevator with an important and powerful male journalist whose good offices I depended on to give favorable coverage to my company’s books. With absolutely no warning, the man suddenly pinned me against the elevator wall, groped my breasts and shoved a hand under my skirt. Did I press the emergency button?

Of course not; it would have caused a scene. A scene would have imperiled my career. A scene would have marked me as a prude, a troublemaker and that grimmest of all characters, A Girl With No Sense of Humor. A scene would have infuriated and embarrassed the man. A scene might have made the papers, exposing his crude and thuggish behavior to his wife. In the end, the person who would pay a price for his humiliation would be me. He would bad-mouth me in the industry. He would give my company bad press, which in turn would reflect negatively on my work and put my job at risk.

That’s why, instead of screaming, I giggled while I fought him off. I spewed wisecracks as I twisted out of his grasp. I tried to keep smiling while frantically stabbing the L button. Finally, the elevator doors opened, and I made a run for the street. It wasn’t the first or the last time that I escaped an unwanted sexual advance and ended up feeling sullied, scared, cowardly and somehow at fault. Far worse happened to friends of mine and to hundreds of thousands of other working women.

But thanks to you, Anita, we and our daughters and our granddaughters now feel empowered to press the emergency button and report offensive behavior. Thanks to your brave, frank testimony and your stately comportment in the face of hostile interrogation and vilification, we no longer laugh off unwanted sexual advances; we file charges. We no longer protect our attackers from humiliation; we name names. We demand that our employers be accountable to their policies against harassment and that the offender be punished. We may still be risking our jobs, but more and more of us are telling the truth.

It all started with you, Anita. And today we remember and honor what you did. We thank you for making a scene—for doing it fearlessly before the eyes of a riveted nation and inspiring millions of women to defend their dignity as you did yours.

Letty Cottin Pogrebin, a founding editor of Ms. magazine and a past president of the Authors Guild and Americans for Peace Now, is the author of nine books, including Deborah, Golda, and Me: Being Female and Jewish in America (Anchor), and Three Daughters, her first novel (Penguin).

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This article appeared in the October 24, 2011 edition of The Nation.

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Funnel Cake Flowers chats with Dr. Beverly Guy-Sheftall about the obsession of men taking pictures of their penis

What is the obsession of men taking pictures of their penis and posting on the internet?

Find out when Funnel Cake Flowers sits down with Dr. Beverly Guy-Sheftall, Founder of the Women's Research and Resource Center at Spelman College, current president of the National Women's Association, author and co-author of several published books including Gender Talks, Traps and Who Should be First.

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Should 12 Year old Boys be Given Condoms?

by today's Urban Chameleon contributor

Funnel Cake

A friend of mine recently told me about how her sister just discovered a picture of a naked girl in her twelve year old son's phone. We both had to take a moment and think back to when we were that age how we didn't have that level of communication available to us. The most we could do is enter some number in a beeper that when you turned up side down revealed messages like "See u later" and "I love u". But the reality today is that the technology kids have accessible to them is so advanced that they can use their phone to film a porn and e-mail it. And I wouldn't be surprise if they are already doing so.

There is no question that sex is on the mind at that age and if parents chose to pretend that it's not that's when you end up with a secret grand child whose an unsuccessful version of lil Wayne. So what to do... how do you nurture, guide and temper a child's sexual curiosity?

My friends solution was to try and refocus her nephew's attention. He's a brilliant budding musician and decided to make a deal with him: every year that he works on creating music and enters into competitions she will not only give him $100 but have a listening party for him. He was enthused by the deal.

Now the first thing I said jokingly was, "Girl the ladies will definitely be lined up then!" However, her point is that at least he will be focused on nurturing his talents. She had an excellent point. We can't help that kids will want to explore sex but we can help not making sex their identity.

Condoms in 'extra small' for boys age 12 set for Britain's shelves soon

Extra small condoms for boys as young as 12 could soon be on our shelves.

The Hotshot condoms are going on sale in Switzerland after research found that not enough 12 to 14-year-old boys were having protected sex.

The condoms are likely to end up on sale in Britain, said their manufacturer Lamprecht AG.

Campaign: Extra small Hotshot condoms are being produced in Switzerland for boys as young as 12 (file picture)

A spokesman said the UK would be ‘top priority’ if the company expanded abroad, considering it had the highest teenage pregnancy rate in Europe.

Nysse Norballe said: ‘At the moment we are only producing the Hotshot in Switzerland.

‘But the UK is certainly a very attractive market since there is a very high rate of underage conception.’

A standard condom has a diameter of 52mm in comparison with the Hotshot’s 45mm. Both are the same length – 190mm.

According to a study of 13 to 20-year-olds, a quarter said that a standard condom was too large.

Hilary Pannack, of teenage pregnancy charity Straight Talking Peer Education, said: ‘We know young people are having sex and if this is what it takes to protect them, we need to go along with it.’

source from www.dailymail.co.uk

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Is the recession a reason or an excuse to hit the stripper pole?

Urban Chameleon news

Hard times push more women to strip clubs

By Tammy Joyner and Megan Matteucci

The Atlanta Journal-Constitution

She’s stunning, even in sweats. But Leilani Burkhead’s got her work cut out for her. It’s 9 p.m. on a weeknight, time to hit the stage at Atlanta’s Magic City strip club.

She slips out of her sweats and half-jokingly mumbles something about getting geared up to work the room.

It’s an about-face from a few years ago when money rained down on dancers at this and other Atlanta adult-entertainment clubs like free-flowing Dom Perignon. Like the rest of the economy, adult dance clubs feel the pinch. The sluggish economy and closer police scrutiny have put about a dozen out of business in the past decade. And the regular patrons aren’t so regular anymore.

But that hasn’t slowed the would-be dancers lining up to apply for the $350 permit to work in the city’s 19 clubs, Atlanta police say. Among the usual aspiring actresses and dancers, there are more college students, single mothers trailing toddlers, health and office professionals and even a few age-defying grandmothers — all looking for well-paid work in a city with unemployment above 10 percent.

“We have them coming in daily looking for work,” says Michael “Lil Magic” Barney Jr., the 28-year-old general manager of Magic City, a downtown Atlanta fixture founded by his father.

While there are no hard numbers, Atlanta police say they’ve seen a spike in applications for adult-entertainment permits in the past year or so due to the recession and the recent change in Georgia law that allows nude dancers to be as young as 18.

“We’re seeing younger applicants,” said Detective Kamau Chinyelu, an investigator with the Atlanta Police license and permit unit. “We’re seeing quite a few that have lost their jobs and are now making career changes.”

hose who do wind up working in the business soon learn that even nude dancers have to work harder these days, as patrons spend less and don’t return as often. The cyber-savvy dancers have turned to social media to hold customers’ interest.

And for good reason. Even in this tough economy, a dancer can clear about $50,000 a year, and that beats working in a dentist’s office or selling homes right now.

Like it or not, sex sells in Atlanta, where there are still more exotic and nude dance clubs in and around the city than anywhere else in the country, according to the Association of Club Executives, an industry trade group. Club work can be a strong draw in an economy that has shed 8 million jobs nationwide and propelled more women into the role of chief breadwinner.

“Women who may not have ever thought about working in the industry are rethinking” the idea, said Angelina Spencer, manager of the Washington, D.C.-based trade group. “Unfortunately, mortgages, car payments and groceries don’t go away in a bad economy.”

While city and development officials prefer not to talk about it publicly, Atlanta’s erotic economy has long been a major financial force in the city, helping draw conventioneers and high-rolling celebrities alike.

Spencer, a former stripper turned lobbyist who has been tracking the adult-entertainment industry for seven years, estimates metro Atlanta’s exotic and nude clubs generate $240 million annually, more than the city’s three major sports teams combined.

Read full article on www.ajc.com

Sex & the City (Gay-rated)

by today’s Urban Chameleon contributor Funnel Cake

A gay friend and three straight girl friends spend the evening talking about sex and race on a Friday night over four bottles of wine. The more you drink the more you reveal. Questions about each others past arise involving three sums, sex toys and other erotic fantasies turned reality. Of course the gay man wins for being the most sexually “progressive “ (see blog: Sexual Respectable Black Girl World). The unspoken rules of conversation- whoever’s story is most “interesting” takes the stage and his certainly did when revealing the number of married men he’s encountered who’ve cheated on their wives with other men.

What’s that about? Are these men all on the DL?

Not even. Although some do just get married for the show, the family and or a surrounding community of homophobes some men simply aren’t being sexually satisfied at home. Think about it, he tells us, who better to understand your clitoris than another woman?

Point taken but I’ll stick to a man continuing to find clarity with my clit. He goes on to explain how there are even men who go as far as not even wanting look at the other man, it’s just sexual pleasure. Such a disconnect for me in my straight female world where sex is purely mental but I guess it’s the same idea for a man who can bang a stripper or a jump off and be out.

Online dating is another world he tells us. There are men who write things in their profile like, “Looking for hot guy preferably Italian or Latin no blacks because they stink.” We all gasped! He was so appalled at the time that he reached out to the guy and demanded he come over to his place to smell him. When the guy arrived he was butt naked and told him to start sniffing. After every area was covered he then asked, “Do I smell?” The guy, who turned out to be Mexican, learned that day that not all black people stink.

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The Sexual Power of Beyonce: Video Phone

by today's Urban Chameleon contributor

With the success of Single Ladies, the question that has crossed many people’s minds is, “How will Beyonce top herself?” The answer for most pop artist is usually with more sex and as a friend of mine put it how far will Beyonce go before like Brittney Spears she is naked with a towel covering her nipple?

In watching Beyonce’s new video, Video Phone, which is by no means a great song or great video she still manages to pull out a performance that is arguable the most provocative yet. I’ve even found myself randomly humming this mediocre tune and have had images from the video of Beyonce undulating on my mind. Another friend of mine said that I was not alone, as she too has been bitten by the Beyonce bug and for the first time realized how effective this lady is. Part of the humor in even bringing this up as a topic of discussion is that I consider both my friend and I to be progressive intellectuals who have no time to be thinking about Beyonce (nose in the air) and even further see the matrix of the industry machine but then why has this lady entered our subconscious and if she could do this to us, two approaching 30ty sumptin’ year olds, what affect is she having on young girls?

The biggest problem with Beyonce is that given her massive success she doesn’t seem to offer anything deeper than girlie sing-a-longs that just encourages one to booty pop, which may be harmless to the 30ty sumptin’ woman but to these young girls, still carving out their sexual identities it may be crossing into dangerous territory even for Beyonce…for how far will she go to maintain sexual power.



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I Don’t Care About White Love…Should I? Part III

by today's Urban Chameleon contributor Regine Hunter

You may have read about an incident that I had a few months ago with a white girl whose boyfriend lives downstairs in my building (click here for: Part I) (click here for: Part II). This was the last time I “Oprah Winfreyed” a white girl and I didn’t think much else of it, but apparently my powers have disturbingly lasting effects whose application could liberate black women all over this country.

It was almost 2:00 in the morning on a Thursday. I’ve noticed that on Thursday nights Mike or Mark or whoever (honestly I refuse to commit his name to memory) has little parties. I mean he’s down there blasting all types of Daughtry and Black Eyed Peas and shit, probably drinking and definitely running his fat mouth. I don’t know what goes on in his life and I don’t want to know, I just lock my door and move through the hallway as quickly as possible on my way in and out. On that particular night I’d met up with friends and came home to find Mark’s girlfriend sitting in the stairwell in her pajamas.

“Hi Regine,” she said flatly, staring me dead in my face with her crossed-ass eyes. Is this bitch on drugs? Why does she remember my name and why is she speaking to me like we’re friends?

“Are you ok?” I was pretty much shimmying past her up the stairwell already but I figured I’d ask. Anything could be happening – maybe she was locked out. Or what if there was a fire? Hell, she might need a tampon – it’s the least I could do after getting a groove on with her man.

“No, not really,” she said with a huff. This is when I realized that her not-okayness was just some corny girlfriend shit. – anyone with a real problem tells you right away instead of getting all Judy Blume about it. I took a second to examine the scene: this chick didn’t have any shoes on and was clutching her cell phone at her side, apparently having asked whoever was on the phone, probably her BFF, to hold on for a minute while she said hello to the Negro Temptress upstairs neighbor. Still, my pesky do-gooder reflexes continued to do their thing.

“Do you need anything?” I asked. Why do I always have to dig the hole deeper and deeper just to make myself feel like a good person? Frankly, if I could work through that tendency in therapy all of the drinking, random sex, and cussing people out probably would never come about in the first place and I’d be considered cured. In reality, I was hoping she needed a glass of water, a call to 911, or $2.00 to catch a bus home. But get what she says:

“Um…no, not right now, I’ll knock on your door a little later.”

What, heifer? It’s 1:45 AM, ain’t no later. Even if there were, this is not a bed and breakfast or some type of open therapy workshop where you can come in here, lay your head on my brown bosom, and talk abut all of the problems you’re having with your blatantly wackass boyfriend. For what? So that I can reveal that I hooked up with him? Or so that he can come knocking on my door looking for you? Why must I be involved and how does any of this benefit me? It was a weird mix between entitled and just retarded. This is where Oprah Winfreying a bitch goes too far – I meant to pacify her not hypnotize her.

“Please don’t.” And that’s all I said as I opened my door and put on an old episode of Living Single to calm my nerves.

I was awake for about an hour after that and could hear her barefoot ass in the hallway on the phone. Just before I fell asleep I heard a door open and close, most likely homegirl giving up and going inside, realizing that her man knows damn well she’s not going anywhere barefoot so he doesn’t have to come chasing after her. I’m sure he’d already fallen asleep with his hand in his pants á la Al Bundy and she came in and hopped into bed with a sourpuss face. Young chick rookie stuff on her part.

But back to me and us sisters. Is a young, white, (possibly chemically imbalanced and cross-eyed) female the most easily-manipulated being on Earth? If so, how can we use that to our advantage? Could the key to black female liberation be found in the process of “Oprah Winfreying” these hoes? It’s certainly worth investigating.

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Obama Condoms...When is this a Good Idea?

The level of creativity that is born out of capitalism is sometimes beyond me

Obama condoms at obamacondoms.com

I reluctantly encourage you to click on the link just to hear how they have used our president's voice to promote their product as you scroll over the tabs, "FIRED UP READY TO GO! (at least I think that's what he's saying)


















These are uncertain times. The economy's a ball-buster and the surge went flaccid... but now there's Obama Condoms, for a change you can believe in!

* FOR THE ELITIST PENIS
* THEY WON'T LEAVE A BITTER TASTE IN YOUR MOUTH
* WHEN YOU JUST WANT TO CLOSE THE DEAL
* REMEMBER THE ELECTION WITH YOUR NEXT ERECTION
* FOR HARD TIMES
* GUARANTEED TO ADD THREE INCHES TO YOUR LOVE LIFE


But seriously what would you do the first night you was gettin' some from somebody you was FEELIN' and they pardoned themselves only to return with an Obama condom?

Oh don't worry McCain and Palin have condoms too but oooh dat's just really nasty...or rather really needed.


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The Sexually Respectable Black Girl World

by today’s Urban Chameleon contributor

Every Black girl needs a white girlfriend. This past Saturday my three Black girlfriends and my white girlfriend had dinner. We’ve all known each other since college and make it a monthly routine to take a break from our crazy hectic lives and check in with each other. After a couple of drinks our white girlfriend demanded to know why none of us had rsvp’d to her passion party. My loud Black girlfriend asked, “What the hell is a passion party?” And the rest of us waited for her to answer curious to know as well. Our white girlfriend seemed floored that none of seemed to know and explained that it’s a party that she will be hosting where a sex specialist comes in to show us an array of sex toys to purchase. She went down the list of objects she had recently added to her repertoire to sensationalize her nipples and clitoris including remote control underwear (which I took a personal interest in) and some edible goodies that weren’t just underwear to name a few. She finished off by saying,

“You Black girls really need to bring your vagina’s up to date. Do I have to teach you everything?”

I kinda felt like she did. For whatever reason I’ve always noticed that Black girls seem to sexually blossom much later than white girls. I can remember being a teenager in high school and beginning to mess around with boys but always having it in the back of my head… that I don’t give head. It was like an unspoken moral code amongst the respectable Black girl alliance. We all use to sit around and talk about how gross it was. Meanwhile, white girls considered this to be first base.

The latter part of high school I became steady with this guy and finally decided to commit to my first experience after months of hesitation. I remember not telling my best friend at the time for damn near a year horrified that she would think of me as a ho! Turns out she was keeping the same secret from me! So then why the level of deepness around the topic?

Even today, I find it interesting that across the board white girls get away with being more sexually free and promiscuous than Black girls without being divided into “respectable” and “unrespectable” groups.

In fact another difference I noticed between white girls and Black girls are that white girls get their dating ON. They are seeing Jimmy on Thursday, Johnny on Friday and Joseph on Saturday and all three might even get a piece and even be related. Most Black women I know not only see one guy at a time but that one guy needs to be attending church and be subjected to an AIDS test before getting to even sniff the coochie. I mean rightfully so AIDS is no joke and an issue in our community but I'm saying though?

The few Black women I do know who are living a little more la vida loca have either been influenced by a white girlfriend or influenced by another Black girlfriend who’s been influenced by a white girlfriend…and I’m not saying it’s a bad thing.

What do yall think?

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