My Caribbean mother doesn't get along with her private school educated grandson

by today's Urban Chameleon contributor, Anonymous

 

Six years ago when I had my son I knew it was my responsibility to provide him with the best that I could. When he was three someone told me about progressive education, which peaked my interest. These are schools that teach critical thinking as oppose to following orders. A huge difference between how poor children and rich children are developed. Outliers: The Story of Success written by Malcolm Gladwell, explores these and many other dissimilarities. Poor kids are usually taught to follow authority where rich kids are encouraged to be inquisitive. They are more likely to go to a doctor and ask questions that they have a right to know, like why are you putting that instrument in my ear?

The school that I ended up enrolling my son in teaches kids to be thought leaders and citizens of the world. This entails asking questions and exploring different answers until they make sense. The problem is, this makes for a difficult relationship between my son and his Trinidadian grandmother, (my mother).

One weekend I left him with her. She sent me a text telling me to pick him up earlier than we discussed before she wrings his neck. He called to tell me that my mother is very negative. 

My mother is old school, children don't get to have conversations with their elders about why they can't do something. The answer is, because I said so, and if you question me again I will beat your ass. That's the thing about being an Urban Chameleon and raising one, it's always about trying to figure out how to navigate the cultural conflicts that nobody prepares you for.

Oh well, maybe when he becomes president of a company or nation my Trini grandmother will appreciate his independent mind then;) 

 

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More Black and Brown People at South by South West (SXSW) Please!

"If technology doesn't see race, that's actually a problem." 

 by HaJ

Left to right: Ayo, HaJ, Pamela Jennings, Sabrina Harvey and Nicole Valentine

This past March I was invited to speak on the Blacks in Technology (BiT) panel at South by South West (SXSW), Elevate the Game: Maverick Women Recode the Future, along with Pamela Jennings, CEO of Noble Wire, Sabrina Harvey, CEO of Art of Genius Tech Education & Women Interactive, and Nicole Valentine, President of Synergy Business Development and Ayoka Chenzira, filmmaker and interactive digital media artist as well as my co-creator and director of HERadventure an interactive, sci-fi movie. Ayoka and I developed HERadventure, which also debuted at SXSW.

Left to right: Denver Louis, Mary Pryor, Nicole Valentine, HaJ, Ayo

 On the first day of the festival that takes place every year in Austin, Texas, we ran into social media guru Michael Street and urban socialista Mary Pryor at Whole Foods. I guess a gathering of people of color was unusual here for minutes into our conversation an older white woman came up to us super excited expressing that she had never seen anything like “this” before. She admired Mary’s Afri-centric head wrap and complimented how beautiful everyone was while continue to stare in awe at the brown people before her. She then returned to finish drinking wine with her male friend who was about 20ft away. Even after returning to her table she kept staring at us. This woman’s perspective seemed to be a reflection of our presence at SXSW. Out of thousands of attendees you could probably count the number of people of color on one hand and have fingers left over. Ayo and I were apart of a smaller number of people of color who were presenting a project. One could argue a number of reasons as to why that was but it certainly isn’t because people of color aren’t innovative.

During out BiT Panel, meaningful conversations came about as it related to the importance of women and people of color advancing in the field of technology, specifically gaming and coding. However if the funding and information is only being distributed to largely one group of people then the experiences developed from new technologies will not reflect diversity of ideas and perspectives. Remember the YouTube video of the Black guy pointing out that the HP face recognition technology didn’t seem to recognize his blackness?   

This is why initiatives like Black Girls Code founded by Kimberly Bryant are so crucial.

BiT has taken a tremendous step in the right direction with creating panels and programming to provide information from people of color in technology and entertainment that's innovative at SXSW. We can only hope that initiatives alike will continue to be embraced, supported and expand into an integrated experience for everyone (including white people).

A friend of mine said to me that the Internet does not see race, it just calculates information according to zeroes and ones. I would argue that NOT seeing race is a problem. Or, being so in shock like the woman at Whole Foods because you’re not used to seeing a group of people of a different race is a problem. 

Being a part of a woman and gaming panel and presenting HERadventure our interactive, sci-fi movie starring a reluctant, female, alien, superhero who also happens to be a woman of color allowed us to continue pushing (or rather opening up) the envelope to empower those who seem to have gotten lost in the zero and ones. To find more about HERadventure visit the website www.heradventure.com

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How the Urban Chameleon Came to be

Tarantino Unchained

 By Jelani Cobb from The New Yorker

In early 2010, not long after the release of Quentin Tarantino’s Second World War revenge epic, “Inglourious Basterds,” I began teaching a course on American history at Moscow State University. When a Russian friend asked me what I thought of the film I told him I loved the way the director created an alternate history in order to make a larger point about the universal nature of heroism. My friend and, as I later learned, lots of other Russians took issue with the film for precisely that reason. “Is this,” he asked, “how Americans really perceive World War II?” In Russia, where the annual May 9th celebrations of the German surrender dwarf those of the Fourth of July in this country, the sacrifices that were crucial to defeating Hitler are a point of huge national pride. The history department at the university features a marble monument to hundreds of university students who died defending the country. Because many Russians feel that the world—and particularly the United States—has never properly recognized the scale of their losses, they tend to see “Inglourious Basterds” not as a revenge fantasy but as an attempt to further whitewash their role in Hitler’s demise. The alternate history in “Inglourious Basterds” failed there because the actual history had yet to be reconciled. The movie’s lines between fantasy and the actual myopic perspectives on history were so hazy that the audience wasn’t asked to suspend disbelief, they were asked to suspend conscience. With “Django Unchained,” Tarantino’s tale of vengeful ex-slave, what happened in Russia is happening here.

The theme of revenge permeates Tarantino’s work. If the violence in his films seems gratuitous, it’s also deployed as a kind of spiritual redemption. And if this dynamic is applicable anywhere in American history, it’s on a slave plantation. Frederick Douglass, in his slave narrative, traced his freedom not to the moment when he escaped to the north but the moment in which he first struck an overseer who attempted to whip him. Quentin Tarantino is the only filmmaker who could pack theatres with multiracial audiences eager to see a black hero murder a dizzying array of white slaveholders and overseers. (And, in all fairness, it’s not likely that a black director would’ve gotten a budget to even attempt such a thing.)

Read more: http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/culture/2013/01/how-accurate-is-quentin-tarantinos-portrayal-of-slavery-in-django-unchained.html#ixzz2GvS6m8xw

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How the Urban Chameleon Came to be

Obama has 99 Problems but Mitt Ain't One

Dear Mrs. Romney...I know You Aint Talking To Me...

Dear Mrs. Romney,

 

 I work very hard in my daily life to assume the best about people. So the only thing I am going to assume about you is that you are probably a pretty nice person with a good heart. I like to make this global assumption without the taint of the opinions of others. And I would appreciate it if you would stop assuming things about me. I am not a part of the amorphous American female collective you spoke of last night. In fact, I take great offense to being lumped together with the female stereotype you presented. I am not the woman you described, nor are any of my female friends. I am much, much more.Allow me to introduce myself. I am a member of the middle class, but I haven’t always been. I have been teaching middle school since I graduated from college. My first job paid $1300 a month. For seven years I supplemented my income by working evenings and weekends at a movie theater and a retail store. This was to pay my rent and my car payment and buy a few groceries. After seventeen years as a teacher, I have earned a Master’s degree, an Education Specialist degree and an administrative license. I am happily married with two elementary-age kids. My husband and I are both educators, and there is still no money left at the end of the month. We continue to live paycheck to paycheck.That’s what two teachers with two kids do.

We don’t have a housekeeper or a nanny. We don’t have personal assistants. All our limited disposable funds go towards riding and violin lessons, karate class, field trips, and school clothes for the kids. If we need new clothes, we wait for clearance sales and shop at discount stores. If one of the kids wants to add an enrichment activity to their schedule, we juggle our finances to decide what we can give up.

We have debt and student loans that impede our financial progress, both of which have accrued over the years as we have tried to live pretty average everyday lives. When it’s time for our kids to go to college, let’s hope they qualify for scholarships; “shopping around” for a more affordable option would mean no higher education for our kids. Period.

Disposable income for this middle class family is a joke.

But I digress. I am a woman, and you don’t know the first thing about me. When you suggest that it’s a “woman’s lot” to work all day then come home and cater to her husband and kids, and that you hear my voice, my blood boils.

You may hear my voice and “love you women,” but you are certainly not listening.

Your life does not resemble mine in any way. Yes, you have five children and a debilitating illness. But you also have the monetary resources to finance support systems. I believe wholeheartedly that being a stay-at-home mom is a full-time job, but you have no idea what it is like to be that parent and work a second, or even a third job at the same time to make ends meet.

So please refrain from claiming allegiance with me, from suggesting that you are an example of “every woman.” That claim is a lie.

Have you ever bounced a check because you had to put gas in your car?

Have you ever been forced to calculate the cost of your groceries as you shop to be sure you’re not over-budget?

Have you ever told one of your children that they can have new shoes that fit…after payday?

Welcome to the reality of this woman.

And I am incredibly lucky.

I have a job, as does my extremely supportive husband. We have two sets of grandparents a stone’s throw away who take care of our kids when they’re sick or they have days off of school so we don’t have to miss work. We have a roof over our heads, food to eat, and we have each other.

I can’t imagine surviving under alternate conditions. What about the single woman who spends fully half of her paycheck on childcare? What about the woman who is struck with Cancer but ignores her medical needs in order to put food on the table for her family? What about the woman who forfeited higher education to raise a child and now has no skills to find a job? What about the woman who lives in a shelter with her children in order to escape an abusive partner or as a result of an eviction?

Shopping at Costco does not level this playing field.

So I take exception to your statement that all women share the same lot in life.

If you want to make this claim, if you want to try to convince me that we are more similar than different, you’re going to have to spend a week or so walking in my $15 Payless clearance shoes.

You are not every woman. You are an incredibly privileged, elite, distorted version of American womanhood, and you have no idea how the other 99% live.

As your husband and his party try to control my body, my choices, my well-being, please remember that you and your party will never speak for me.

How dare you even try.

- Cathy Walker-Gilman

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Is Everyone But Harry Belafonte Riding Jay-Z's Dick?

by today's Urban Chameleon contributor

Yes I said it. And I no I cannot wait until I have the privilege of being 85 years old like Mr. Harry Belafonte to say what needs to be said.

In a recent interview with The Hollywood Reporter, Mr. Belafonte was asked if he was happy with today's Hollywood images of minorities. Mr. Belafonte replied, "Not at all...It is all --excuse my French--shit."

He goes on to use Jay-Z and Beyonce as an example of turning their backs on social responsibility. It's hard to ignore this point and so I'm in conversation about it.

So why aren't more of today's young Black rich celebrities socially active? One could also ask, should more Black elders be holding them responsible?

Regardless of how you analyze this question, what's worth noting is that something happened between the Civil Rights Movement and the Hip Hop Generation.

My mom recalls when drugs were deliberately put into the Black communities to break up the power behind unifying the community. All that hard work and blood shed, which once had a clear community purpose lost its road map. So even though we won the
right to sit in the front of the bus, it didn't stop some of us from acting like a fool on that
bus.

I can only imagine Jay-Z's reality from his songs and lyrics, framing for us what it took
for him to get to where he is. Pulling himself up by his own boot straps after he had to
make the boot, steal the materials for the boot and lets not forget, get shot at for the
boot. It's not so unreal that a rich rapper's financial values would be more in line with a
conservative Republican. I got mine, you betta get yours.

Even though our community is suffering from poverty, mass incarceration, and unequal
educational systems, unlike Mr. Belafonte, for Jay-Z, the term "community" may just be
a definition in the dictionary. Yes, Jay-Z has the Shawn Carter foundation that has made
charitable contributions. However, KultureKritic interestingly breaks down that the $1.3
million dollars given away through 750 Scholarships estimates to be about $1,733 per
child. Not only can that barely get anyone though a semester of college it can't even
buy one of those kids a Louis Vitton bag. Is the foundation more of a public relationship
obligation and tax write off rather than an actual social responsibility.

Although I don't have the answer, I'm sure as hell glad that Mr. Belafonte isn't more
concerned with chilling in the champagne room with Jay-Z than he is with calling him
out and asking some real questions. I sure hope Jay-Z isn't at home working an a Belafonte
retaliation track...cause this beef is way more serious than that sh*t that went down with
Nas.

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