Sex & the City (Gay-rated)

by today’s Urban Chameleon contributor Funnel Cake

A gay friend and three straight girl friends spend the evening talking about sex and race on a Friday night over four bottles of wine. The more you drink the more you reveal. Questions about each others past arise involving three sums, sex toys and other erotic fantasies turned reality. Of course the gay man wins for being the most sexually “progressive “ (see blog: Sexual Respectable Black Girl World). The unspoken rules of conversation- whoever’s story is most “interesting” takes the stage and his certainly did when revealing the number of married men he’s encountered who’ve cheated on their wives with other men.

What’s that about? Are these men all on the DL?

Not even. Although some do just get married for the show, the family and or a surrounding community of homophobes some men simply aren’t being sexually satisfied at home. Think about it, he tells us, who better to understand your clitoris than another woman?

Point taken but I’ll stick to a man continuing to find clarity with my clit. He goes on to explain how there are even men who go as far as not even wanting look at the other man, it’s just sexual pleasure. Such a disconnect for me in my straight female world where sex is purely mental but I guess it’s the same idea for a man who can bang a stripper or a jump off and be out.

Online dating is another world he tells us. There are men who write things in their profile like, “Looking for hot guy preferably Italian or Latin no blacks because they stink.” We all gasped! He was so appalled at the time that he reached out to the guy and demanded he come over to his place to smell him. When the guy arrived he was butt naked and told him to start sniffing. After every area was covered he then asked, “Do I smell?” The guy, who turned out to be Mexican, learned that day that not all black people stink.

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Mexico City breaks World record for most people doing Michael Jackson "Thriller"

Urban Chameleon news

Who loves Michael Jackson the most? Mexico City wins for the record breaking number of most people to simultaneously perform Michael Jackson's "Thriller." Guinness Book of World Records apparently still has to confirm this as a group of students in Virgina set the initial record.



full article on CBS news

Did She Just Call Me A Nigger?

by today's Urban Chameleon contributor

It was a Friday night and my two friends and I decided to meet up after work at Rosa Mexicano in the city and catch up. I had gotten out a little earlier than usual and decided to do some shopping at Zara picking up a fabu raincoat and some new tops. When I got to dinner I of course had to put on a mini fashion show for my girls before we got into deep conversation mode. One of my friends just started a new job so she had lots to tell us about her new corporate life, and gave us a complete break down of everyone in her office. No matter how are conversations begin, it always some how transitions back to us reassessing our lives sometimes celebrating how far we’ve come and sometimes beating our selves up for not being further along. Tonight we were in celebration mode toasting to all of our good fortunes.

When it was time to leave, we walked over to Park Ave and 22nd to wait for two cabs. They were sharing a cab to go uptown and I was headed to Brooklyn. We managed to flag two cabs down, which pulled up back to back for us but when I quickly turned away to wave goodbye to my friends this white woman was headed into my cab. I said “Oh hell no I know she saw me.” So I quickly rushed passed her and said, “Excuse me miss this cab pulled over for me.” Next thing I know she shoves me inside the cab bumping my head against the opening of the door and then I really said “OH HELL NO” so I began to kick the shit out of her. She manages to catch my leg in mid third kick, which at that point we were just throwing blows at each other, her with one arm still around my right leg and the other arm bumping against my fists in the mix of all of my Zara shopping bags. Next thing I know the woman flies back on some Matrix reloaded tip landing on to the ground. My girls had come to my rescue, one had grabbed her shoulder the other pulled an old school move and had grabbed her by her ponytail. I closed the door to my cab and my friends, one in her bedazzled, jeweled flip flops and the other in her red leather mini skirt scooted back into their cab. The woman who was now completely flustered on the ground and still cabless yells out, “YOU NIGGERS!” as we drive away.

We immediately called each other from our cabs dying laughing at the irony of what just happened.

Did we really just get into a fight and have to jump this crazy woman on Park Avenue? I mean rightfully so, she was dead wrong. But damn I haven’t been in a fight since I was twelve and in the projects at that. I had to ask the cab driver if he did in fact pull over for me which he said he did and then asked if I was alright. I thought to myself was he just saying that because he was afraid I would call my girls back and jump him? Hahahahah. Oh lawdy a Friday night gone awry. I got to get to church this Sunday.


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