Sex & the City (Gay-rated)

by today’s Urban Chameleon contributor Funnel Cake

A gay friend and three straight girl friends spend the evening talking about sex and race on a Friday night over four bottles of wine. The more you drink the more you reveal. Questions about each others past arise involving three sums, sex toys and other erotic fantasies turned reality. Of course the gay man wins for being the most sexually “progressive “ (see blog: Sexual Respectable Black Girl World). The unspoken rules of conversation- whoever’s story is most “interesting” takes the stage and his certainly did when revealing the number of married men he’s encountered who’ve cheated on their wives with other men.

What’s that about? Are these men all on the DL?

Not even. Although some do just get married for the show, the family and or a surrounding community of homophobes some men simply aren’t being sexually satisfied at home. Think about it, he tells us, who better to understand your clitoris than another woman?

Point taken but I’ll stick to a man continuing to find clarity with my clit. He goes on to explain how there are even men who go as far as not even wanting look at the other man, it’s just sexual pleasure. Such a disconnect for me in my straight female world where sex is purely mental but I guess it’s the same idea for a man who can bang a stripper or a jump off and be out.

Online dating is another world he tells us. There are men who write things in their profile like, “Looking for hot guy preferably Italian or Latin no blacks because they stink.” We all gasped! He was so appalled at the time that he reached out to the guy and demanded he come over to his place to smell him. When the guy arrived he was butt naked and told him to start sniffing. After every area was covered he then asked, “Do I smell?” The guy, who turned out to be Mexican, learned that day that not all black people stink.

Have your Urban Chameleon story featured by e-mailing tickles.tv@gmail.com

click here for: How the Urban Chameleon Came to be

Are the “Mistress” and the “Jump-off” the New “Wifey”?

by today's Urban Chameleon contributor JDenise

Not too long ago, the “wifey” was a coveted title by many women in relationships. Why? I’m still not quite sure. See, the “wifey” was the woman a man cared deeply about. She was his “ride or die,” the woman he introduced to his boys and the fam. “Wifey” had all the potential to be this man’s wife; but she wasn’t. This is perfectly fine if you have no desires of being married; but, so many women with hopes of being married found themselves stuck in “wifey” territory. At least this was uniquely their domain. Nowadays, women are fine being some man’s side piece. You know that phrase “a piece of a man is better than no man at all”? Well, far too many women believe this and are willing to share a man than to have one of their own.

Recently, I had a conversation with my mom about women in “desperate situations.” Well, actually it was about desperate women. This conversation was sparked after I read an article that attempted to sum up why numbers of black women are single, (like black women are some kind of static being with a one stop fix for them all). The male writer argued that black women are single because their standards are too high. (Like setting standards is a bad thing.) This notion is hilarious to me, because I know several black women that settle for being the “jump-off” or the “mistress” just so they can say they have a man.

Some people may believe the “jump-off” and “mistress” are one in the same. I distinguish them in two ways. First, both married and single men can have “jump-offs” but only married men can have “mistresses”. Second, the “jump-off” is a woman that a man messes around with on the side. There is no emotional connection on his part. She may be emotionally invested, but for him it’s purely physical. On the other hand, the “mistress” is the woman a married man has a full-on affair with; he is physically and somewhat emotionally involved with her. Whether the man is emotionally involved with the woman or not isn’t the point. I’ve heard women say they don’t want to be in a relationship, so they have no problem being the “mistress” or the “jump-off.” For them, it’s more a thing of convenience. If you say so. But I know women that are stuck in these situations and won’t come out for fear of being alone. So I ask, is it the new standard to settle as the “jump-off” or the “mistress” just to have a piece of a man? For countless women, the answer is yes.

Have your Urban Chameleon story featured by e-mailing ticklestv@gmail.com

Click here for : How the Urban Chameleon Came to be