Not too long ago, the “wifey” was a coveted title by many women in relationships. Why? I’m still not quite sure. See, the “wifey” was the woman a man cared deeply about. She was his “ride or die,” the woman he introduced to his boys and the fam. “Wifey” had all the potential to be this man’s wife; but she wasn’t. This is perfectly fine if you have no desires of being married; but, so many women with hopes of being married found themselves stuck in “wifey” territory. At least this was uniquely their domain. Nowadays, women are fine being some man’s side piece. You know that phrase “a piece of a man is better than no man at all”? Well, far too many women believe this and are willing to share a man than to have one of their own.
Recently, I had a conversation with my mom about women in “desperate situations.” Well, actually it was about desperate women. This conversation was sparked after I read an article that attempted to sum up why numbers of black women are single, (like black women are some kind of static being with a one stop fix for them all). The male writer argued that black women are single because their standards are too high. (Like setting standards is a bad thing.) This notion is hilarious to me, because I know several black women that settle for being the “jump-off” or the “mistress” just so they can say they have a man.
Some people may believe the “jump-off” and “mistress” are one in the same. I distinguish them in two ways. First, both married and single men can have “jump-offs” but only married men can have “mistresses”. Second, the “jump-off” is a woman that a man messes around with on the side. There is no emotional connection on his part. She may be emotionally invested, but for him it’s purely physical. On the other hand, the “mistress” is the woman a married man has a full-on affair with; he is physically and somewhat emotionally involved with her. Whether the man is emotionally involved with the woman or not isn’t the point. I’ve heard women say they don’t want to be in a relationship, so they have no problem being the “mistress” or the “jump-off.” For them, it’s more a thing of convenience. If you say so. But I know women that are stuck in these situations and won’t come out for fear of being alone. So I ask, is it the new standard to settle as the “jump-off” or the “mistress” just to have a piece of a man? For countless women, the answer is yes.
Have your Urban Chameleon story featured by e-mailing ticklestv@gmail.com
Click here for : How the Urban Chameleon Came to be
