Showing posts with label Golf. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Golf. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Urban Chameleons in Transition…Trying to get to the Vineyard

by today’s Urban Chameleon contributor

Not matter where you are and what you’ve achieved on your Urban Chameleon journey there is always some new obstacle to overcome (just look at Sotomayor having to deal with the latest Senate Committee vote hearing. Click to see: White Men Judging Sotomayor)

The latest hurdle for my friends and I? Trying to get to Martha’s Vineyard for a networking event that’s taking place the end of August, coincidentally the same time the Obama’s will be there. However, regardless of whether the Obama’s are there or not the Vineyard truly tries to price the up and coming out.

For a roundtrip flight and three days we’re looking at close to $2,000! EACH! These round-the-way girls need to find another way around that. We’re definitely of the mindset of investing in your future and see this as a great business opportunity. It takes money to make money. We come from parents who scraped together pennies for our private school education and piano lessons so we surely can’t give up now. The brainstorming began,

“What if we fly to Boston, then rent a car and drive?”
"Who wants to get off of a flight to then still drive a couple of hours."
“How much is the bus?
“No girl it's not about a bus.”
“We could take the ferry from NY-I think it’s like 7hrs?”
“I’d rather jump off the ferry and end it I get sea sick- I won’t make it 7hrs.”
"I second that."
“Wait I just found a hotel room for $299.00 it’s a little further out but the cheapest we’re going to find.”
“Do we just need to crash in that bad boy and split it four ways?”
“My goodness, I had hoped at 30ty I would have out grown the two in a bed but consider it done.”
“Yea but we still need to get there.”
“See if your mother will let you borrow her car.”
“Alo maman, Regarde, mes copines et moi veulent allez a Martha’s Vineyard mais les billets d’avion son telement chers qu’on voulais…Quoi? Oui, on aime rait preter ta voiture pour…Oh, parait! Merci maman! Annnnnd we have a car yall.”
“Wait girl, we still need to get the car onto the island.”
“Apparently we have to put the car on a steamboat to take over.”
“It’s still cheaper than flying.”
“Have we looked at Amtrak?”
“Hmm, this might be a good option…ooh look $30.00 each way!”
“There’s even a shuttle that takes you to the ferry.”
“So we have to take a subway, to the train, to a shuttle, to the ferry, to a cab, to the hotel and then split a bed?”
“That’s what it’s looking like.”
“Wow, first you’ve got to fight to get into the elite white schools then you have to fight to get in the elite Black social circles.”
“When does it end?”
“When you’re the Obama’s.”
“No girl, they’re even still fighting to be accepted.”
“The journey of an Urban Chameleon... it's exhausting.”

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Friday, July 10, 2009

The Panamanian Butt Is Not As Big As We Thought

by today's Urban Chameleon contributor

I found this Internet craze that came out a few weeks ago quite...(I don't even know) regarding the controversy over the buttocks of the Panamanian women’s cricket team. Apparently someone had Photoshoped the butts of the women from looking like this














To this
















And all of a sudden people were fans of “cricket”.

Can we just take a moment here and really think about why the booty is so powerful? This is not the first time that its voluptuous presence has captivated millions through media attention and caused men to act out of character. Just yesterday the news reported that police had caught The Brooklyn Butt Slapper- some fool running around smacking women on their ass.
The booty...such a mesmerizing and what can be dangerous power.

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Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Damn Tiger Woods, How’d You Do It?

by today’s Urban Chameleon contributor

My fabulous Urban Chameleon girlfriends and I call our selves looking to evolve our fabulousity this summer and decided to look into golf- anything to throw white people off with our diverse skill set. Now mind you it’s not like we go looking to throw off white people but if they would stop acting so surprised by our accomplishments then we’ll stop.

Anyhoo hoo to the hoo, the golf obsession started last summer during a trip that my husband and I took with my Jewish best friend and her Jewish husband to the Berkshires. Her husband took us to the driving range to give us a beginner’s lesson. My Jewish girlfriend is not that into golf and much rather go hiking but me being the Urban Chameleon that I am insisted on taking in every note and detail he gave me about perfecting my form just so that I can one day show up on the course in a kente cloth dashiki, Dior shaded and a head wrap and shut’em down. The following day I was ready to get back out there but my Jewish friend insisted on us having a "girls" day sipping Pinot by the pool. As much as I want to expand those skills nothing beats sipping Pinot by the pool so we let the boys have a golf day instead. My husband who is from south west Philly returned at the end of the day after playing 18 holes for the first time to say, “Golf is no bitch ass sport, I’m tired as hell.”

But this year the girls and I are game! (With the exception of the Jewish one who rather watch with Pinot) This past weekend, a Haitian, a Trinidadian, a Jamaican and a Panamanian showed up at Chelsea Piers bright and early ready to start golf lessons except for one tiny problem, THE COST! Not only is golf no bitch ass sport it’s also no cheap ass sport. No wonder there are more brothas playing basketball. Damn Tiger! Much respect and another clear example of how it takes money to make money he clearly is seeing the return on his investment. But we young adult Caribbean Chameleons are currently in the stage of trying to pay off Visa and Mastercard for all that already invested fabulousity before leaping into any additional kind of extreme investment. So trying to prove a point will have to wait. I wonder how much tennis is?

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Thursday, April 16, 2009

Did She Just Call Me A Nigger?

by today's Urban Chameleon contributor

It was a Friday night and my two friends and I decided to meet up after work at Rosa Mexicano in the city and catch up. I had gotten out a little earlier than usual and decided to do some shopping at Zara picking up a fabu raincoat and some new tops. When I got to dinner I of course had to put on a mini fashion show for my girls before we got into deep conversation mode. One of my friends just started a new job so she had lots to tell us about her new corporate life, and gave us a complete break down of everyone in her office. No matter how are conversations begin, it always some how transitions back to us reassessing our lives sometimes celebrating how far we’ve come and sometimes beating our selves up for not being further along. Tonight we were in celebration mode toasting to all of our good fortunes.

When it was time to leave, we walked over to Park Ave and 22nd to wait for two cabs. They were sharing a cab to go uptown and I was headed to Brooklyn. We managed to flag two cabs down, which pulled up back to back for us but when I quickly turned away to wave goodbye to my friends this white woman was headed into my cab. I said “Oh hell no I know she saw me.” So I quickly rushed passed her and said, “Excuse me miss this cab pulled over for me.” Next thing I know she shoves me inside the cab bumping my head against the opening of the door and then I really said “OH HELL NO” so I began to kick the shit out of her. She manages to catch my leg in mid third kick, which at that point we were just throwing blows at each other, her with one arm still around my right leg and the other arm bumping against my fists in the mix of all of my Zara shopping bags. Next thing I know the woman flies back on some Matrix reloaded tip landing on to the ground. My girls had come to my rescue, one had grabbed her shoulder the other pulled an old school move and had grabbed her by her ponytail. I closed the door to my cab and my friends, one in her bedazzled, jeweled flip flops and the other in her red leather mini skirt scooted back into their cab. The woman who was now completely flustered on the ground and still cabless yells out, “YOU NIGGERS!” as we drive away.

We immediately called each other from our cabs dying laughing at the irony of what just happened.

Did we really just get into a fight and have to jump this crazy woman on Park Avenue? I mean rightfully so, she was dead wrong. But damn I haven’t been in a fight since I was twelve and in the projects at that. I had to ask the cab driver if he did in fact pull over for me which he said he did and then asked if I was alright. I thought to myself was he just saying that because he was afraid I would call my girls back and jump him? Hahahahah. Oh lawdy a Friday night gone awry. I got to get to church this Sunday.


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