Damn, Security

by today's Urban Chameleon contributor SoBlackit'sComplicated

Please note that the security guard in this photo is not the one involved in this incident

Most people of color have experienced being followed in a store so much so that I know I’ve actually broke on a white sales woman for doing so,

“How dare you follow me around this store as if I’m some hoodlum trying to steal. This Von Furstenberg dress I’m wearing cost more than what you make in a week! Black leaders fought and died for equal rights and here you are trying to shackle me right back into slavery well let me tell you something lady it’s YOUR mentality that is shackled in hate, ignorance and negativity and you need a serious reality check!’

And no she did not in return ask, "Who gonna check me boo?" She instead apologized profusely that I felt that way and tried to explain that she only wanted to make sure that I was being helped since I seemed to be struggling to hold onto all the items in my hands... and so I thought maybe I might have over reacted.

But when I was recently shopping for Uggs in preparation for the cold moths ahead (I know I know they’re such the white girl boots but damn they’re comfortable!) I was reconnected to my justified insecurities. There in the Ugg’s story was a Black security guard (no less) following me around watching me closely… and no he was not trying to come on to me. It’s as if Uggs corporate had a meeting earlier that day and ordered for all the blackees to be watched.

I decided to ignore him for I wasn’t about to give another profound speech and play myself. At the same time I noticed a white girl watching the security guard, watching me. I then felt like I was in the middle of some kind of sting operation that was about to go down so I quickly paid for my Uggs and went to leave. It wasn’t until I noticed that the white girl was leaving before me never having visited the cash register. She walked past the security guard who was now watching some Latino man, straight through the front door with the Uggs on her feet. This chick just saved $200.00 just by being white and cashing in on my Black ass being followed. Damn was I jealous! When will I be able to do that? It's sad when that's an aspiration.

In the meantime I should probably write a letter to Uggs corporate:

Dear Uggs,

Yall some racist a-holes.

P.S. Love the new Ugg's designs, comfy as hell.

[sign]
SoBlackit'sComplicated

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Did She Just Call Me A Nigger?

by today's Urban Chameleon contributor

It was a Friday night and my two friends and I decided to meet up after work at Rosa Mexicano in the city and catch up. I had gotten out a little earlier than usual and decided to do some shopping at Zara picking up a fabu raincoat and some new tops. When I got to dinner I of course had to put on a mini fashion show for my girls before we got into deep conversation mode. One of my friends just started a new job so she had lots to tell us about her new corporate life, and gave us a complete break down of everyone in her office. No matter how are conversations begin, it always some how transitions back to us reassessing our lives sometimes celebrating how far we’ve come and sometimes beating our selves up for not being further along. Tonight we were in celebration mode toasting to all of our good fortunes.

When it was time to leave, we walked over to Park Ave and 22nd to wait for two cabs. They were sharing a cab to go uptown and I was headed to Brooklyn. We managed to flag two cabs down, which pulled up back to back for us but when I quickly turned away to wave goodbye to my friends this white woman was headed into my cab. I said “Oh hell no I know she saw me.” So I quickly rushed passed her and said, “Excuse me miss this cab pulled over for me.” Next thing I know she shoves me inside the cab bumping my head against the opening of the door and then I really said “OH HELL NO” so I began to kick the shit out of her. She manages to catch my leg in mid third kick, which at that point we were just throwing blows at each other, her with one arm still around my right leg and the other arm bumping against my fists in the mix of all of my Zara shopping bags. Next thing I know the woman flies back on some Matrix reloaded tip landing on to the ground. My girls had come to my rescue, one had grabbed her shoulder the other pulled an old school move and had grabbed her by her ponytail. I closed the door to my cab and my friends, one in her bedazzled, jeweled flip flops and the other in her red leather mini skirt scooted back into their cab. The woman who was now completely flustered on the ground and still cabless yells out, “YOU NIGGERS!” as we drive away.

We immediately called each other from our cabs dying laughing at the irony of what just happened.

Did we really just get into a fight and have to jump this crazy woman on Park Avenue? I mean rightfully so, she was dead wrong. But damn I haven’t been in a fight since I was twelve and in the projects at that. I had to ask the cab driver if he did in fact pull over for me which he said he did and then asked if I was alright. I thought to myself was he just saying that because he was afraid I would call my girls back and jump him? Hahahahah. Oh lawdy a Friday night gone awry. I got to get to church this Sunday.


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