Funnel Cake Flowers comments on Tracey Morgan vs. The Gays

Another Black man bites the gay dust. Tracey Morgan provoked more minority on minorty crime when his stand up routine undermined gay rights. Apparently he joked that if his son ever came home gay that he would stab that little ninja to death. What I find interesting is that no one seems to care that he threatened to murder his son who he referred to as the n word. Where in the world are child services,  the NAACP and that boy's mother. Are we so blinded by which ever minority groups' issue is trending that we ignore other issues. Yes I'm being a little sarcastic. Black on gay crime is ridiculousness. How can one minority group not understand another’s plight for human rights?  But is that the only issue here? One might argue another issue is -what the hell are gays doing at Tracey Morgan stand up routine? Don’t let the 30 rock actor that now appeals to greater American fool you. I remember you hustle man. Like any person of color who climbs the social ladder, inevitably you have to become an Urban Chameleon.  Mr. Morgan your audience is now bigger than def comedy jam, a culture that unfortunately is comfortable with loosely using the “f” word to describe “soft” men. But might this be an opportunity where you can break a chain in Black comic culture. I know thing is for sure it’s complicated. I’m Funnel Cake Flowers your Urban Chameleon news reporter from Tickles.TV  

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Your Eyes Aren’t Slanty Enough to be Asian

by today's Urban Chameleon contributor Sarah K. Cho

My name is Sarah K. Cho and I admit I’m a twinkie. According to my parents I am full Korean but according to the film and television industry my eyes aren’t slanty enough to play the Asian prostitute, martial artist or tech geek. After years of auditioning and constantly letting casting directors down with my poor Korean accent of “me no speak no English,” I finally earned the non-speaking part of a stripper wearing pasties and a thong on CSI.

“ You just have to do the Halle Berry thing then you can turn down those kind of rolls,” my friends said. I’m in New York now.

What sucks is, if I WERE good at math or science I wouldn’t be stuck trying to break into this god forsaken entertainment industry.

Growing up I fit nowhere. Not the Korean church I was force to attend or the Korean Christian camp (yes they have those). Apparently I did not act “Korean” enough for Koreans.

I guess I am like the bumblebee. According to the greatest minds of science it should not be able to fly. The wings just aren’t big enough. So what does the bumblebee do? Fly anyway. I doubt that it cares what anyone thinks.

If you’re in New York, come and see my stand up comedy routine this Monday Columbus Day, October 11, 2010 at Carolines (1626 Broadway Ny NY 10019). Discounted cover price of $5 when you mention my name, Sarah Cho to make a reservation 212-757-4100.

NO I’m not related to Margaret Cho but you can say that you met me before I had to resort to the pasties and a thong.

P.S. If you can't tell already this woman on the left is not me of Margaret.

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What would happen if Chris Rock, Wanda Sykes and Dave Chappelle didn't put our business out in the streets?

by today’s Urban Chameleon contributor

My mom once told me a story about a Black woman she knew years ago whose first encounter with white people was in college at NYU. She had only seen white people on TV.

The woman’s college roommate was white and she swore never to let this woman see the process of a Black girl’s hair. She would wake up early just to get into the bathroom before anyone else was awake to do her thang and then stay up late to repeat her routine. What was she afraid of?

Last week in my playwriting class a student performed a monologue about “Ashy Elbows.” Before the performance could begin, our fifty something year old white teacher first had to ask, “What is ash?” Ironically, the Black man performing the monologue had ashy elbows and was able to provide the teacher with a visual reference.

I shared this exchange with a couple of friends and they were shocked to learn there were people in this world that didn’t know what “ash” was. My Jewish friend from college said it never dawned on her to use moisturizer until she saw us, Black girls, bathing ourselves with it in the morning. She now incorporates moisturizer into her daily routine because, as she says, it makes her skin feel so much better. But had we not shared our process of getting ready in the morning she might still be denied this luxury.

I think back to Dave Chappelle and how the cultural over-share started to slip into dangerous territory; as I heard he mentioned something about that it began to feel like white people where laughing at us.

The Black community was pissed with Chris Rock for puttin' our bid'ness out in da streets with his film, Good Hair.

Wanda Sikes has a funny standup routine about Black People being PARANOID of what white people think about them. My question is: Why do we still care?

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The Evolution of a White House Couple

A friend forwarded this to us from an email chain... and at first we didn't know what to think then we bust out laughing

This is what the First Couple looked like coming into the White House and the second photo is what they look like going out...

and it doesn't help that pearls are still swinging on the neck.

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The Conversation on Black Names Continue…

by today's Urban Chameleon contributor

A friend of mine came over the other day and said to me, “Girl, Black names are off the hook these days!”

Well we’ve known that. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve met Black children named after a car, a bottle of alcohol or an exotic bag of weed and struggled not to bust out laughing in their face. But she caught me off guard when she asked me how I thought the name “La-a” was pronounced.

I responded, “LA AH?”

“No girl, Ladasha!”

You mean to tell me someone has used a hyphen, excuse me a “dash” as part of the pronunciation of their name?! Oh no.

So you know we had to keep it going coming up with the most ridiculous pronunciations using other punctuation marks

/ia - Oh this would be pronounced “Backspacia”

J' - pronounced "Japostrophe"

:’ - pronounced "Colón"

...a - pronounced "Ellipsa"


Related video brought to you by Tickles.Tv



Please contribute to the madness and let us know the most outrageous name you’ve come across (or maybe your own name is uuuhm... unique) Please share.

P.S. If anyone else also read about the name La-a please let us know so we can reference the source.


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Michelle Obama in Poom Poom Shorts?

Urban Chameleon news

Ok I know poom poom shorts when I see them and these are not it people. Please stop the controversy!

article: Michelle Obama short shorts spark long talks

So here we are again. The biggest scandal to hit the White House: How much skin is really in? Hours upon hours have been spent talking about what a first lady should or should not wear. First, it was whether or not she had the right to “bare arms,” and now, pictures of Michelle wearing “short” shorts while on holiday with her family during yesterday’s trip to the Grand Canyon are sparking a similar debate. While most women would agree that shorts (at any length) are often tough to pull off, I think we should line up with hands raised to offer her a high five. And since she is gifted with those long legs, I beg the question — wouldn't all shorts be "short" on her? So to be “short” and to the point (pun intended), what do you think about Michelle dressing relaxed like the rest of us? Is it OK for her to be casual and comfortable with her body? Or do you feel she should be more conservative, offering a polished reserved example at all times?

click here for whole article

Now I could see if she was wearing this.














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Dutty Wine Gone Wrong

The number of accidents that occur during some of these dance hall steps are really intense (click here for: Caribbean Country Side Bafoonery) . I mean I used to think I was doing something at the cub when I was younger with just one leg up on the wall but these girls are out here Dominique Dawes'ing it out this piece.

I do love a Dutty Wine but ... oooooh this is it gone wrong



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PLEASE NOMINATE US FOR ALL FOUR CATEGORIES BY JULY 25TH!!!

Crazy Girls On the Train Part Deux

by today's Urban Chameleon contributor

I wanna say that one of the fruits of the civil rights movement is the fact that we now have the freedom to not give a sh*t about what white people think about us. I believe that to be true maybe 94% of the time. The other 6% of the time, are filled with moments like these:

Rush hour. Uptown bound train at 14th street. We're packed in like sardines. Going to work, coming from work, running an errand, kids trying to get to school, I’m trying to hustle to make it to an appointment. Suddenly, voices raise. Someone just violated someone else's space by...I don't know...pushing, stepping on a toe, elbowing in the chest. I can definitely relate. One too many moments where someone has done this to me on a crowded train - without so much as the obligatory "excuse me" or "sorry" – triggering a burning desire for me to go off on them. I usually don't. Not a natural confrontational spirit I instead curse them in my head. This, however, is not true of everyone.

On today's uptown 3 train, two Black women, one with a doo-rag on her head, decided it was spectacle time and so the verbal match began. All types of “N” word and “bitch” name calling exchanged- now the altercation is on the brink of physical. Civil Rights movement out the door. I kept my iPod volume up. Cuz if I heard anymore, I might have lost my cool. A group of middle aged white men in suits were openly and hysterical with the LOL as if they were watching an episode of “who’s the baby daddy” on Jerry Springer.

Don't get me started.

Other Black people on board were giving each other that silent *stare* and shaking their heads. I caught the eye of one older Black man who looked too sad liked he'd marched for nothing. It was like another episode of Crazy girl on the train.

Original

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PLEASE NOMINATE US FOR ALL FOUR CATEGORIES!!!

Yesterday’s Newsweek Post

by today’s Urban Chameleon contributor

My girlfriend and I were reading yesterdays blog post Caribbean Country Side Bafoonery here at Home of the Urban Chameleon. We too were talking about that daggering story that we also read in Newsweek. I think we were more upset that we were getting put on to the latest about our culture from Newsweek!

After moving out the ‘hood, it reminded us that we actually need to visit the ‘hood more often than just getting our hair done. Spend a little time taking back in the rhythm of the streets, find out about the latest hip hop and dancehall mix tapes from Abdul on the corner, while eating a beef patty with coco bread and taking some ackee and salt fish to go. Pick up those priceless and price conscious groceries that these higher end supermarkets either don't have or charge an arm and a leg for like Bustelo!- there is no reason this coffee should be $7.00 when it’s 1.99 in the ‘hood! Hey maybe even see the weed man, go to the park and light up that dutchy and chug a 40ty for old time sake. Let me stop, I was drinking White Zinfindale even from back then with the dutchy.

As Urban Chameleons no matter where we go we owe it to our selves to always keep that one foot in the ‘hood ‘cause we should never be finding out about the alleged broken penis' of our brothas as a result of daggering in media first.

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