Why do I feel guilty taking off work for MLK DAY?

by today's Urban Chameleon contributor

I'm the only Black guy at my company. I started about two and a half months ago so technically I’m still under a three-month probation before being considered a real employee.

Martin Luther King, Jr. Day is this Monday, as it’s celebrated the third Monday of January every year, a national holiday signed by Ronald Reagan in 1983. I noticed that my company is not closed for the holiday and I’m hot and bothered by this. This is the first time I’ve worked for a company that doesn’t acknowledge Dr. King’s birthday. Apparently, only 33% of business’ close for this day. I wonder if this is racism or taking humanity for granted? Or both? This might sound harsh, but to not acknowledge the birth of a man who died for civil rights is a harder pill for me to swallow.

The owner of the company is Jewish and I thought he’d understand the importance of commemorating a day that represents overcoming hate, murder, oppression and obtaining civil rights – hello Holocaust? I referred to the employee manual to see if I can find supporting evidence for my case. I was ready to approach the company if I saw that the office was closed for Yom Kippur or Rosh Hashanah, but to my surprise the only three holidays we have off are the New Year, Christmas and July 4^th. Oh. I had to rethink my approach to this matter.

I decided to see my manager, who also doubles up as HR, and bring the issue to her attention. In my mind, I kept reciting how delicately and politely I would approach the subject to avoid coming off like an angry Black man. A shame that we have to think this way. My manager ended up being really cool and understanding, (not understanding enough to close the office), but explained that because the company is so small with clients who don’t take off for the holiday and are so demanding we can’t afford to close, especially in such a competitive industry. However, if I wanted to take the day off I was more than welcomed, (without it even counting against my vacation days). The irony is that we are a slave to our clients. I thanked her for her time and walked back to my desk but still not satisfied.

A friend of mine told me that he has never worked for a company that's acknowledged MLK Day. He too is the only Black guy, always finding himself in a position of having to contemplate whether or not he should take the day off because feelings of guilt and isolation arise. It's like when you don't play into the culture of corporate America; being a martyr for working to the point of exhaustion. It's a company's responsibility to set a tone and by not acknowledging MLK Day you end up feeling like THAT "Black employee" missing work over THAT "Black holiday."

MLK Day isn't just about “ME and my Black people,” it's for everyone regardless of race. It reminds us of how far we’ve come and how much farther we have to go; Gay people in this country are still fighting for civil rights. Women are still seeking equality. If your office can’t close for the holiday the least they can do is acknowledge the day; even if it’s just a company, “reply all” e-mail, subject: Happy Martin Luther King, Jr. Day!

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The Caribbean Gas Passer

by today’s Urban Chameleon contributor

I love my West Indian people and I love our food but you can’t bring it everywhere, especially not every day to the office.

My colleague, let’s call him Max, loves to bring his curry goat, rice and peas and fried plantains for lunch on most days. If it’s not that it’s another Caribbean curry dish of some sort, which is cool lawd knows I get down on the same grub but during work hours I’m on a toss chicken salad with a vinaigrette dressing diet.

For the very reason that every day around 3PM, when I assume that Max’s curry has attempted to digest a wretched stench invades our cubicle space. Since Max and I are the only ones who are seated in this area of the office I’m usually the only one experiencing these violent episodes of suffocation.

Every now and then someone will walk through our section at this time and notice the putrid smell and make a joke, “Phew! Who farted?” Max will try to cover this up by complaining about a trash bin that hasn’t been taken out but he can’t fool me I grew up with the same curry and I know a curry fart when I smell one.

Jesus. What to do? Do I bring HR into this?


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Does Spicey Foods Cause Nightmares?

by today's Urban Chameleon contributor
Ken Stiggers




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YOU TOUCHED MY CHILD!

by today’s Urban Chameleon contributor

Oh Beyonce, “No, no no no no when it’s really no, no, no, no, noooo.” I’m not so sure that the destiny of this particular child is in any movie that doesn’t involve a doe, ray, me vocal warm up and 5,6,7,8. My friends I went this past weekend to see the movie Obsessed starring Idris Elba and Beyonce, which she also executive produced. We wanted to support Black folks…let me stop lying that had absolutely nothing to do with why we insisted on seeing this particular film. I was personally intrigued that Hollywood actually released a film that had a white woman stalking a coco color Black man and of course we were all curious to see how Sasha Fierce would beat this home wreckers’ ass. We were all looking to be entertained in that good bad movie kind of way. But this was just bad bad. The test of any real film is if you can take any event out of the story and the story still makes sense your story is flawed and boy was this one flawed ass story. There was nothing driving this movie except overcompensating music. On top of it all the fight scene was also so damn disappointing. What would have been a much better twist with this “diverse” thriller is if Sasha Fierce would have actually fought like a Black girl, I mean there was not one single Black girl windmill slap?!











However, I’m sure the studio is more than happy with their opening weekend box office of $28.5 so god only knows how many more renditions of “Obsessed” are to come. See what you did Obama? Oh the irony of liberalism. I’m just kidding the irony of the film is probably the only thing I did like. I will say if you do go see this film regardless of your color I insist that you to go to a theatre where Black folks will be because noooooooo one yells back at the screen with better commentary.

Wait for it, wait for it….”YOU TOUCHED MY CHILD!” Haha Yes! But no.

What did yall think?

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My Crazy Ghetto Cousin

by today's Urban Chameleon contributor

Every now and again my crazy, ghetto, cousin who has cancer might I add, will call me up to thank me for the pictures of our new born daughter. Although she is a bit ghetto and crazy she appreciates our gestures of trying to stay connected as a family since we live in different states and don't see each other often. 

However, my cousin never fails to catch me of guard. One minute we’ll be talking about the importance of family, love, support, faith but the next minute she’s be telling me how some bitch tried to play her. 

"Denise" she says to me. 
"Don't you know this bitch tried to cut in front of me at the mothaf*cking fax machine line today!" 


And I'll usually respond with something to make her feel supported like, "Oh no they didn’t.” 
"I had to tell that bitch, BITCH did you not see me standing here waiting to motherf*ckin facsimile bitch?" "Bitch gonna tell me that she didn't realize I was waiting and that she sorry." "I said Bitch how you going stand there and lie like a mothaf*ckin rug telling me you didn't realize, I was standing right there holding the motherf*ckin cover sheet. Bitch is like-" 


Finally interrupting her I say, "Deyon this can't be good for the cancer I think you should try and relax." 


"You right, I can't be letting these bitches get the best of me." 


"Did you get the Jasmine tea I sent you? That really helps to calm the spirit, why don't you make yourself a pot?" 


"Can't, no kettle." 


"What happened to your kettle?" 


"I had to beat this other bitch's ass wit it last week who might I add TRIED TO PLAY ME."

There is nothing like having ghetto cousin.

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