HR Complains About My Muslim Smell

by today's Urban Chameleon contributor

A couple of months ago, a Black female colleague of mine was pulled into HR in the middle of the day. When she returned she told me that someone had complained about her scent being too strong. She’s from the Bronx and is always stopping along her commute to the city buying the Muslim oils up on Fordham Rd. I know this because I've seen her collection. HR claimed that her scent was activating people’s allergies. I bet that it was a partner that complained. I will admit that her scent was a little strong but only in the morning when everyone is FRESH.

What’s crazy is that in our copy and file room, the white guys down there drown themselves in cologne and nothing was said to them. Their scents are so strong you can almost taste it. A month ago my colleague left for a better a job and a new Black girl started work. She sat next to me and I never smelled her but sure enough a couple of hours into her first day they sent out a company e-mail about not wearing “strong” scents. Maybe they just don’t like how Black girls’ smell.

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The Caribbean Gas Passer

by today’s Urban Chameleon contributor

I love my West Indian people and I love our food but you can’t bring it everywhere, especially not every day to the office.

My colleague, let’s call him Max, loves to bring his curry goat, rice and peas and fried plantains for lunch on most days. If it’s not that it’s another Caribbean curry dish of some sort, which is cool lawd knows I get down on the same grub but during work hours I’m on a toss chicken salad with a vinaigrette dressing diet.

For the very reason that every day around 3PM, when I assume that Max’s curry has attempted to digest a wretched stench invades our cubicle space. Since Max and I are the only ones who are seated in this area of the office I’m usually the only one experiencing these violent episodes of suffocation.

Every now and then someone will walk through our section at this time and notice the putrid smell and make a joke, “Phew! Who farted?” Max will try to cover this up by complaining about a trash bin that hasn’t been taken out but he can’t fool me I grew up with the same curry and I know a curry fart when I smell one.

Jesus. What to do? Do I bring HR into this?


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