Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Why White Men Love Me: "The Saliva Incident" (episode 2)

by today's Urban Chameleon contributor
Please note that the white man in this photo is not the one involved in this incident

A couple of months ago, my colleagues and I went down to Atlanta to have dinner with one of our major clients: a loaded older white man who always likes to keep the party going. He’s one of those clients that has your boss freeing up the next morning’s schedule because you know that it’s gonna be a long night of kissing ass. Well, we all flew into Atlanta and met the client at one of the many fine dining establishments “the dirty dirty” has to offer. It was a typical business dinner. The client was already at the bar when we got there, sippin’ on his Jack, No Coke. Of course, after dinner he was ready to hit up the next stop—a sleazy, locals jazz club. So there we were, all lined up along yet another bar, damn near midnight still kissing ass hoping to get the nod for our next deal, when the client leaned over to whisper something in my ear but nothing came out. That’s when I felt it. I froze in a state of shock.

Was that what I thought it was?

Ew ew ew ew ew ew


Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god

But the client was already up, shaking my boss’s hand, then my colleague’s, and out the door.

“Are you okay?” my colleague asked noticing the horrified look on my face.

“No I need a bottle of gin.” I replied.

As the bartender was pouring I was trying to recover.

“What’s wrong?”

“The client just LICKED MY EAR!”


I took the Gin to the head using it more as an antiseptic. “How is it that we all come to ATL, the southern Bastian of Black Professionals, and I’m the one who ends up with an ear full of a White Man’s saliva?”

click here for: episode 1

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1 comment:

  1. This must be a white man thing. A VERY similar incident happened to a friend of mine. I sort of got nauseous as she explained how he licked in her ear. Like WTF, dude... you don't know where that ear's been!