Showing posts with label Real Housewives of Atlanta. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Real Housewives of Atlanta. Show all posts

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

When keeping it real goes so wrong, but right for Donald Trump

by today's Urban Chameleon contributor

Years ago in college, I was cast in a school play. I had one line, “You muthafucka!” It was the quintessential, Black girl neck rolling and Sam Jackson-esq, urban tone in which I delivered the line each night that made the audience guffaw on cue. Even though I am a Black girl, I don't think the audience realized that I was playing a character.

It wasn’t until the following year, when I took a sociolinguistics class that I began to understand that my director at the time, who was white, had orchestrated my role in his play the way that Hollywood has always utilized ethnic characters, as comic relief. My, sociolinguistics teacher who was also white, had pointed this out to the class using countless examples, which I’ve continued to note to this day; including the Caribbean crab in THE LITTLE MERMAID, the cat and donkey in SHREK and so on.

Reality TV’s formula is an orchestrated trap for the poor and uneducated. Regardless of race, there is an appointed “crazy person.” However, when that crazy person is Black, let alone a Black woman, the community takes extra notice and cringes.

This past Sunday, I sat in awe as I watched Nene Leaks from The Real Housewives of Atlanta be allowed to berate Star Jones on The Celebrity Apprentice. Nene Leaks’ display of poor behavior was both sad and painful for a number of reasons. Ignoring race for a minute, we were watching a human being incapable of rationally communicating with another human being. Telling another grown woman (or anyone for that matter) to “Shut the f*ck up” is just hateful and hurtful. From a cultural standpoint, these were more than too familiar fighting words. However, Star Jones held it together and utilized her side commentary to the camera in an attempt to distinguish for America the difference between how an “educated Black woman handles stress” from one that aint.

An “educated” person doesn’t have to be someone who’s achieved a certain level of traditional schooling, or any schooling for that matter, but rather someone who realizes that the world is bigger than their block. In Nene’s case, you can take a girl off the block but you clearly cannot take the block out of the girl.

As Nene was telling Star Jones off, I couldn’t help but notice the Gucci scarf that was draped around her neck. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if the cost of her entire outfit was north of $2,000. It’s interesting that Nene’s “keep it real/block” attitude had bought her access into a world she clearly was not prepared to handle. Class is often mistaken for designer labels and rubbing elbows with the elite and it’s what most people strive for. However, as along as media continues to exploit that “crazy person” that looks like you (a minority), even if you are educated, you’ll always be viewed as a second class citizen…who better be carrying their birth papers. Right Mr. Trump?

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Monday, March 14, 2011

Meet Funnel Cake Flowers, THE URBAN CHAMELEON NEWS REPORTER

Profession: The Urban Chameleon news reporter

Age: Old enough to be legal, but young enough to drop it like it is hot.

Race: Blickity, Blickity, Black (don’t let the light skin fool you).

Marital Status: Pending with progress (has recently decided to explore dating men outside of her race and learning Japanese as a result of a new lover).

Hobbies: Getting people to stop taking themselves so seriously... while being very serious.


Episode 1: Funnel Cake Flowers reports on the viral video THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF THE CIVIL RIGHTS. “Can Black people not take a joke or are some jokes just not jokes?”


FCF: Black people seem to struggle with jokes especially when the jokes on Blacks. Last week the all female Black comedy troop, Elite Delta Force 3, released The Real Housewives of the Civil Rights starring some of our most beloved leaders including Rosa Park, Winnie Mandela, Coretta Scott King, Betty Shabazz, Maya Angelou and Marilyn Monroe. The video went viral just after the second day of release upsetting various members of the Black community. Comments suggested that these mother goddesses should not be touched. Fans of the video countered saying that these same critics are at the club dancing to, “Bitch better have my money.” Where’s the line and who gets to decide who crosses it? Can Black people not take a joke? Are some jokes just not jokes? Or is just fear of what white people will do with the jokes. I know one thing’s for sure…it’s complicated. I’m Funnel Cake Flowers your Urban Chameleon news reporter from Tickles.Tv


E-mail Funnel Cake Flowers an Urban Chameleon news story to highlight at tickles@tickles.tv


*Funnel Cake Flowers recently hosted the game show, BREAK THAT STEREOTYPE!, which was an official selection of the Women in Film and Television Film Festival. Watch out now!!!

www.tickles.tv

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Mama always said if you want good real estate follow the crack heads…

by today's Urban Chameleon contributor FunnelCake

Growing up in the early 80ties I used to question why my intellectual, progressive, degree earning, world traveled parents decided to raise me in a crack head infested, gun shot bucking, drug dealer having neighborhood also known as da ‘hood. Every day, on my way to private school located on the other side of town, I stepped over different color crack vials, prayed for my life, and dreamed of one day living in a high-rise doorman building surrounded by white folks; ‘cause they couldn’t possibly be experiencing these same kind of problems. My white friends at school looked relaxed and at peace, in fact the most frazzled I had ever seen one of my school mates was over this really complicated long division math problem that had the class stumped. Meanwhile, I was calculating my route home to avoid Bebe’s Kids that at one point in time were filling up water balloons with their urine and targeting folks.

My parents brushed aside my worries, told me that the 'hood shapes character and that I needed a little culture. For them there was nothing like living with the people. I will say this, the one time Bebe’s kids did try to mess with me, my intellectual, progressive, world traveled father chased them down with a machete. He was from Jamaica.

It wasn’t until years later, when I had to start paying bills, robbing Peter to pay Paul and looking for someway out of the rat race, that I discovered the value of good Real Estate. During the early eighties, my parents had the foresight to purchase property in our crack head infested, gun shot bucking, drug dealer having neighborhood also known as da ‘hood; where houses at the time only cost seventeen thousand dollars. Their mortgage payment was a whopping $217.00 per month. The irony is in all that time I was looking to run to the white neighborhood, white folks ended up moving into our neighborhood! This resulted in driving up the Real Estate so much so that when my parents were ready to sell they made an 800% profit!!!

My father passed shortly after the sale of the house and my mother decided to take her newfound wealth down south to Hot-Lanta; where she purchased a 2400sq ft, three-story loft, balcony off the bedroom and living room with a view of the downtown skyline. And where is this piece of oasis located you ask? Another crack head infested, gun shot bucking, drug dealer having neighborhood also known as da ‘hood. At this stage of the game I expect nothing less from my mother. She would never move to the suburbs. She claims she knows how to handle a crack head better than deer.

read part II

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Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Michael Jackson Memorial Service Nominated for NAACP Award?! WHAAAAT!

Urban Chameleon news

As if nominating Real Housewives of Atlanta for an NAACP Image Award wasn't bad enough they have also nominated MICHAEL JACKSON'S MEMORIAL SERVICE! This is sac religious...

Outstanding Variety – (Series or Special)
  • "BET Awards 2009" (BET)
  • "Bill Cosby: The Kennedy Center Mark Twain Prize for American Humor" (PBS)
  • "The Michael Jackson Memorial: Celebrating the Life of Michael Jackson"
    (ABC, BET, CNN, MTV, NBC)
  • "Wanda Sykes: I'ma Be Me" (HBO)
  • "We Are One: The Obama Inaugural Celebration at the Lincoln Memorial" (HBO)

"Award" and "Memorial Service" should never be in the same sentence.

Michael Jackson memorial nominated for Outstanding Variety Television award by NAACP Image Awards

Even in death, the King of Pop is still raking in the awards.

Michael Jackson's funeral has been nominated for an Outstanding Variety award by the NAACP Image Awards.

ABC, BET, CNN, MTV, and NBC broadcast Jackson's memorial service from the Staples Center in Los Angeles on Tuesday, July 7th, almost two weeks after the 50-year-old singer died of cardiac arrest.

Attended by thousands of fans, the star-studded service, which proceeded a smaller gathering for family members inside a Hollywood Hills chapel, lasted 90 minutes and featured touching tributes by Magic Johnson, Smokey Robinson, Stevie Wonder, Al Sharpton, Jennifer Hudson, Brooke Shields, Mariah Carey, Lionel Richie, Usher, and John Mayer, as well as Jackson's family members.

The most emotional moment came when the King of Pop's 11-year-old daughter, Paris, took the microphone and told the audience, "Ever since I was born, daddy has been the best father you could ever imagine."

"And I just want to say that I love him so much," she added, before bursting into tears and burying herself in the arms of her aunt, Janet Jackson.

Jackson was laid to rest as extravagantly as he lived. His bronze casket, which reportedly cost close to $20K, featured 14-karat gold plate handles and a velvet-lined interior.

But the funeral was not without controversy.

Three thousand police officers were on hand to ensure events proceeded smoothly, costing the city of Los Angeles between $2 - 4 million.A Los Angeles tax payer recently sued Jackson's estate for $3.3 million to cover the costs of the singer's memorial.

Regardless of cost, the memorial service turned out to be quite a spectacle.

Akamai Technologies, a company that monitors Internet traffic, noted that at some points during the funeral, global Web traffic was 31 percent above average.

It's main competitor for the NAACP Image Award appears to be President Obama's Inaugural Celebration at the Lincoln Memorial, but anything featuring Jackson these days makes money and wins awards.

The documentary "This Is It," which featured video footage of the tour Jackson was set to embark on when he died, is the highest grossing musical documentary of all time, having taken in over $250 million.

And Jackson also swept the American Music Awards last year, taking home four awards.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Atlanta Housewives Nominated for NAACP Award? WHAAAAT!

Urban Chameleon news


See this is where the agenda of race progress takes a back seat to capitalism. Right here is where I don't f*ck with the NAACP. The soul has been sold for ratings and advertising. For there is no reason why the buffoonery known as The Real Housewives of Atlanta should be acknowledged as "People of Color Advancing." Laughed and pointed at? Absolutely. If anything, the show is a set back for the coloreds and the NAACP instead needs to be protesting Sheree by She (yea I flipped it), Nene and her crazy eye ass, not celebratin’!


Ok, lemme cool down. It’s not these women's fault that they have exploited their lives for faux success with the exception of Kandi (we like her). The real problem is that RHOA and shows alike are called "Reality TV" when instead they should be called FARCE TV. The "Realty" title is what continues to invite raging criticism. (Oh the irony of the English language; we will redefine a word won't we? And people wonder why immigrants can't learn to speak English) However, by nominating RHOA it further endorses the VP of Bravo’s ignorant ass statement about representing what he has defined as “Black wealth" on TV. Now truth be told Black people with real money wouldn’t dare be caught wit dey bidness all out in da street. So the faux show goes on. But seriously NAACP…check yo’ self for you have truly wrecked yo’ self.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Nene’s Real Housewives of Atlanta Needs Real Therapy

by today's Urban Chameleon contributor


As much as I despise the fact that I got sucked into the Real Housewives of Atlanta this season I even more so despise the fact that I’ve actually taken time to write about it. It’s like watching a train crash, you know it’s about to happen but you’re tune in anyway. What sparked this impromptu spat is a recent conversation I was having with a girlfriend of mine about the character Nene. She absolutely loves this woman and her “realness” in which I rolled my eyes… and hard…you know the kind of eye roll where you’re blind for a minute trying to readjust your eyelids? Yea that was me. She couldn’t possibly understand why I was hatin’ and went as far as to defended Nene by saying that even white men love her! Yes thank you Anderson Cooper for your endorsement but this is no surprise to me. I took a sociolinguistic class in college and part of my study was following the trend of popular movies where Black characters are used as the comic relief particularly among white audiences. There is no doubt that Nene is the comic relief in this show but the question is should we be laughing?


This woman has real problems disguised by an overcompensating confident façade and should be in therapy. It is very clear she is an attention seeker who god-forbid the spotlight is not on her there must be commotion. Who the freak cares if you got left off the song, Tardy for the Party, write your own damn song. It is clearly not that difficult to make a hit these days. Lol Smiley Face says Soulja Boy. Now I am aware that it's the unveiling and unraveling of this woman's isssssssues is what makes great television these days at least as far as ratings but I am just so damn tired of people praising Nene like she is some kind of role model to aspire to be for if so we are in deep trouble and all need therapy.


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Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Don't Look for President Obama's Health Care address on Fox sister network tonight...

Urban Chameleon news

God forbid people miss "So You Think You Can Dance" for our president to address a national crisis. I mean... I could see if it was the Real Housewives of Atlanta. I would definitely then stand up to the network that tried to keep me from She by Sheree. (are you hearing the sarcasm?)

While ABC, NBC and CBS confirmed today they'll air Obama's address to Congress, Fox has just announced in a statement that the network won't pre-empt programming on Wednesday, according to a company statement.

It's not too surprising considering Fox aired "So You Think You Can Dance" instead of Obama's last prime-time news conference. The reality dance contest also airs at 8 p.m. on Wednesday, the same time Obama addresses Congress.

While the broadcast network will not cut to the president, both Fox News and Fox Business Network will air the address in its entirety.

source from Michael Calderone blog on politico.com

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Loud and Wrong…The Real Housewives of Atlanta

by today's Urban Chameleon contributor

Black people can be notorious for being Loud AND Wrong. I'm not
talking about these two words exclusively. I’m specifically emphasizing the
conjunction of the two words.

Truthfully, I had been reluctant to watch the Real Housewives of
Atlanta just completely embarrassed by those women's behavior. In fact every time my white friends would bring up their excitement about the season premiere I would cringe and overcompensate by suddenly over articulating myself in the Queen’s English. I really need to get over holding the responsibility of my race on individuals but it’s just so damn hard particularly when there are people out there who really think this is all we have to offer.
But this didn’t matter because even my progressive Black girl friend insisted that we all watch this train-wreck together. She even conveniently tied this agenda to finally having a reason to try out KFC’s new grilled chicken. Her e-vite read:

“Please join me for The KENTUCKY FRIED GRILLED CHICKEN WITH THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ATLANTA PARTY ON SUTTON PLACE”

If you aren’t familiar, Sutton Place is an old white neighborhood located on the east side in the mid-fifties of NYC and flooded with rich women walking their small dogs and coming back from a Botox injection.

Nough said. Our presence there with the KFC buckets was an Urban Chameleon moment in itself.

The first 40min of the show go by and I’m thinking, “hmmmmmm, I didn’t really need to see this.” Watching this channel is already sending the wrong message for ratings and therefore continuing to perpetuate the degrading images of Black women on television. And yes I’m thinking of this all while cleaning out the gristle of my chicken bone. However, the tables turned for me in the last 15min of the show after She by Sheree gives us an Academy Award worthy performance starring as an Urban Chameleon. Not to mention, when I tell you that there is no writer or actors that could have even begun to capture this kind of all too familiar scenario in the world of Black customer service- I lie to you not.

Too many times I’ve been in Black establishments who have no concept of the “fourth wall” (a dramaturge term referring to the imaginary wall that one stands behind when on stage). Applying this same theory in real life, when you are representing a business establishment HELL-O, you’re on stage. That means you don’t express your frustration to the audience, you don’t curse out the audience out and you damn sure don’t talk about the audience’s mama. Speaking of which, my own mama has gone off and has laid out a number of incompetent customer service people who failed to grasp the concept that they were there to service the customer. Just Loud AND Wrong. (click here to read: Customer Service)

But back to She by Sheree…she held it the f*ck DOWN! Giving us contrasting chameleon personalities. In one moment she was asking, “Who’s gonna check me boo?” threatening to call Pookie and dem and in the next moment she was schooling the uneducated on proper business etiquette.

Someone recently made a great comment on the first post, “How the Urban Chameleon Came to be” that not all Urban Chameleons are “seamless,” in fact many have to work on their transitions between worlds, which is true. But please don’t confuse the man in the business suit who told Ms. She by Sheree, “I will slap the sh*t out of you” and “Yo’ mama’s a bitch” for being an Urban Chameleon…oh no honey…he’s Just Urban.

If you haven’t already seen this profound moment in the history of television or need to relive it again and again and again…I would strongly advise you to click “play.”



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Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Brooklyn's Finest Out to See Brooklyn's Finest

by today's Urban Chameleon contributor

After being in meetings all day non stop from 9:30am yesterday morning to 5:30pm working on a proposal a sista girl was ready to UNWIND, which usually entails an alcoholic beverage and some mindless pass time. Just as I was trying to decide between gin or wine my home girl calls me up last minute to invite me to a screening of a new Antoine Fuqua film, Brooklyn's Finest. Being that we're both suckas for a movie that includes "Brooklyn" in the title (the Brooklyn-ights we are, REPRESENT) and it had been over four days since we last hung out we immediately made plans to meet up at the nearest happy hour by the theater. We were conveniently able to see the line for the show form as we happily sipped our $3.50 glasses of Cabernet, which was perfect since we don't do lines. So when we saw that they were beginning to let people in we quickly settled the bill, cross the street and hustled to the front and entered the theater to find our seats.

Now let me begin by saying I had no expectations for this film what so ever. Hadn't seen a trailer, a preview, an article, a blog, a fortune cookie, a nothing, had no idea what to expect and after seeing this film I would suggest that the next movie goer not expect much. The film stars Don Cheadle, Richard Gere and Ethan Hawke who are all cops but don't know each other. Gere is seven days away from retirement when his boss asks him to show a new young cop the ropes. Against his will Gere's character takes him on but the young cop is agitated by Gere's passive approach to crime when he overlooks a guy beating up his wife so he asks to be transferred to a more proactive mentor which weighs on Gere. Hawke is a crooked cop who steals drug money to try and put towards a down payment for a new house so he can move him, his wife who's pregnant with twins and their 30 other kids (that might be an exaggeration but there were so many I lost count) to a bigger place. And to really top off his "drama" his wife is suffering from mold in her lungs 'cause their current place of residence is nasty. Cheadle plays an undercover cop who's been in the "game" so long he starts to lose sight of what's right and wrong and therefore wants out but his boss wants him first to set up his childhood friend in a drug bust that is played by....wait for it...wait for it...wait for it, Wesley Snipes! Now I can't even front in a weird and twisted way it was good to see that apparent woman abuser, non tax payer Wesley.

Unfortunately everyones attempt at a great performance was muted by this clusterfuck of a storyline taking us on a journey through too many moments we just don't give a damn about. What are happening to movies people? I mean will we ever see another movie with more climatic drama then The Real Housewives of New York 'cause right now my DVR queue has a more engaging line up. This was just a horr(rolling my tongue right now)rrrrrrible version of Crash meets Training Day meets Traffic and I'm telling you that might even be too much of an over sell and even worse BROOKLYN was no where to be found in this movie other than some Biggie and Busta Rhymes on the soundtrack but I got that in my iPod!? But I tell you what could be found in this film, every non working Black actor. If you've recently been like, "Damn, what ever happened to so and so?" Chances are you will find their brief appearance in this wack ass flick. Half the cast of the Wire was cast in this film (damn that was a damn good show) and I cant even front I even got a little Nostalgic at the sight of Omar and and that slimy ass Clay Davis, "Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit". But overall let's just say that we were the finest thing from Brooklyn in that movie theater.

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